We set our scene in Damask: A kingdom that couldn’t get ransacked if it tried . . .

But now that the king is dead, that’s exactly what his brothers have in mind. All they need is a bad king to take his place. The population will rebel, the neighboring kingdom will be “invited” to restore order, and they’ll be in business . . .

Bad Prince Charlie will do. His reputation for “badness” precedes him, and everyone knows he wouldn’t spit on Damask to save it from Drought. At the mention of Lady Catherine (va-va-voom) Durace, he’s in on the scheme.

But his father’s ghost has been skulking around the castle, and we all know that means trouble. If Charlie ever gets around to hearing the old man out, he may learn that his uncles’ mildly sinister scheme is actually a bonafide evil plot. Ransacking Damask is just a cover for the real game: Weapons of Magical Destruction.

When a seemingly crazy, poorly dressed soothsayer tells you not to let a magical talisman fall into the wrong hands, take him or her seriously. DO NOT laugh it off and leave said talisman simply lying around on a side table; you might as well just end the world yourself.
—The Handbook of Practical Heroics, p. 134

The kingdom of Deserae is in the most direly perilous of dire perils. The realm’s precious magical talisman—Ancient Artifact Model Seven—is in the grimy hands of the evil Lord Voltmeter (He Who Must Be Named) . . .

Only one man can stop him (and, by the by, win the hand of Deserae’s exceedingly well-proportioned princess). Unfortunately, he’s never really done this sort of thing before. But Prince Kevin Timberline is determined to find a way into the Fortress of Doom (perhaps through the gift shop?), resist the advances of a leather-clad, whip-wielding temptress (well, maybe that’s not so bad), and face an army of unspeakable nastiness (okay, that’s bad), armed only with his reasonably pure heart, questionable courage—and most importantly, a copy of The Handbook of Practical Heroics . . .

There’s always trouble in Illyria: dragons to slay, villains to fight, and one beautiful princess after another demanding to be rescued from a fate worse than death. It’s a full-time job for Charming, noble prince and professional hero. In fact, young Charming thinks he’s just about ready for a leave of absence.

But you’re always on call in the Slay and Rescue business, and soon Charming is working overtime when he becomes embroiled in a plot involving an evil sorceress, an enchanted castle, one angry dragon, and no less than three beauteous damsels in distress, each with her own plans for our hero, and none of them to be trusted long enough to shake a sword at . . .

And they lived happily ever after . . .

Caroline’s plan to live happily ever after has hit a snag. She’s spent months mapping the swamp, building tadpole nets, and kissing every wriggling frog she could get her hands on, and one has finally turned into a prince. Unfortunately, Prince Hal is not, as promised in the fairy tales, particularly handsome. In fact, he’s kind of dorky-looking.

Hal himself isn’t very eager to marry a girl so obsessed with appearances, but he finds that a lot of people have a stake in his impending nuptials—including a sorceress in training, an irritating dwarf, and Hal’s own royal family, who seem to have misplaced large portions of the treasury. But the biggest reason for him to marry Caroline, true love be darned, is that if he doesn’t, it’s back to the lily pads for him—permanently . . .