CHAPTER FORTY
The next day, a newspaper headline declared Freak Lunar Eclipse Completely Explained By Scientists and, on the next page, Mass Drug Event Ruins Soccer Game. The reporters made reference to hooligans fighting on the pitch, and a brief description of Aelwulf’s sugar-induced rampage, but chalked it up to tampered hot dogs from a childish prank. I folded the paper and set it on the bed.
“So that’s it?” I asked. “The end of the world averted, and they blame it on hot dogs.”
“Hot dogs are a good excuse,” Esther said. “No one really understands what’s in them. So how are you feeling?”
“Like someone buried a sword in my shoulder.” I eased my way back onto the bed, closing my eyes as pain racked my body. I was in the medical wing of Mundane Actual, between the real world and the magical. This area was kind of a containment area, to ensure no trace of the mundane got into our domains. The team’s doctors had done what they could with my shoulder and the bite on my ankle, along with the dozen other small cuts and bruises I had picked up over the last week, but there was only so much they could do. I had to wait until the mundane had dissipated before I could get back to the magical world, and get some real healing.
At least the real world had good drugs.
“How long until I can get back to my domain?” I asked.
“Not yet. Soon,” Esther said. “That was a significant incursion, and you spent a lot of it in the mundane. We have to ease you back into the Unreal, or that dog of yours is going to get loose. And no one wants to clean up after that.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I pushed the newspaper away. “Doesn’t a newspaper count as a modern convenience? Isn’t it corrupting me further just sitting there?”
“Not really,” she said. “No more newspapers in the real world. I could have brought you a scroll, or had a bard sing you the news, but the printed word is mostly harmless.”
“Well, the sooner I’m back in the cabin, the better. How’s everyone else?”
“Chesa and Matthew are fine. She was scared to death when she found you. Nearly tore Rodriguez’s arm off dragging her to your body.” Esther chuckled. “Tembo healed up just in time to help round up the last of those zombies. I couldn’t bring myself to killing all those zombies. I know a lot of those folks.” She sighed and sat back, hands folded on her knee. “I think we’re just going to leave them where they are. Keep them supplied with soccer balls and books and whatever else they need.”
“They seemed harmless enough, once Aelwulf lost control of the Totenschreck.”
“They’re just people, after all. And Bethany and Greg aren’t really talking about what happened. We figure the less said, the better, though Chesa keeps leaving pink bows in places they’ll find. Gonna have to step on that, eventually.”
“I’d rather not get involved. But I’m glad everyone else is doing alright.” I closed my eyes and stretched. “Too bad Solveig got away.”
“Yeah. She and that wolf took off like heat lightning. Chesa had to choose between following her and saving your life.”
“Well, I guess I’m glad she made the right choice. Just wish we’d gotten our hands on Bashful.” I put my arm over my eyes. The lights in here were relentless. “Can I get a little rest?”
“Actually, no. I woke you up because we need you for something.”
“For what?”
“A closing ceremony of sorts. The valkyries want words with you,” she said, standing up. “So get some pants on. We’ve got enough drugs in you.”
“I don’t like the sound of that,” I said.
“It’ll be fine. They don’t have a lot of bite left. Not after what happened.” She started to leave, but paused in the doorway. “They owe you one.”
I waited until she was gone before I tried to get up. My gambeson and leggings were waiting, along with my sword. The shield, magic or not, was still lying in splinters on a soccer field somewhere in the real world.
“They owe me a lot more than that,” I said as I started to get dressed.
The trip on the Naglfr was less terrible than usual. I don’t know if my travels in the whale or down the rainbow bridge had softened my attitude, but the HMS Hangnail seemed positively luxurious. I almost couldn’t smell the foot odor of thousands of dead Vikings. Almost.
The whole team was there. Bee and Greg sat on opposite sides of the boat, never making eye contact. Tembo was on one side of me, and Matthew the other, while Chesa sat beside me, fussing with my cloak or asking if I was comfortable every time I shifted. Esther watched us with barely disguised amusement.
Valhalla was much changed. The pennants and music declaring Mr. Valhalla were gone, along with all the sounds of merrymaking and war. We settled down right in front of the main door. A figure leaned beside the door, arms crossed. It was Lillie, still in her overalls with a meshback trucker hat pulled close to her eyes. Her ever-present shotgun leaned next to her. As we disembarked, she turned and shouted inside. A short time later, Revna and Inge came out. I barely recognized them. Their wings were gone, and instead of leather armor and steel, they wore mundane clothes.
Wincing, I limped across the field alongside Esther, to stand in front of them. The rest of the team hung back.
“What the hell happened to you guys?” I asked.
“Ragnarok,” Revna said. “For us, at least, it was the end of the world.” She motioned to the beer hall behind her. “Our loyal dead are gone, and the ranks of the valkyries have thinned to nothing. We are all that remains.”
“Wow. That sucks. So you’re just . . . shutting down?”
“Not exactly. There will still be worthy dead, and some portion of them must come here. But not until we have valkyries to ferry them across the veil.” She motioned to Lillie, then Inge. “The three of us can’t do that on our own. So we are going to be recruiting, searching the world for women worthy of bearing the shield and standing guard against the end of the world.”
The real end of the world, I took that to mean.
“You looking for suggestions? My mom can pack a hell of a wallop, but I’m not sure she would put up with the kind of shenanigans you guys get up to.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “Chesa, maybe? She seemed to enjoy herself here.”
“Knight Watch is off-limits,” Esther said.
“Of course. You have your duty, and we have ours,” Revna said. “Like it or not, we must close Valhalla for a time. But before we go, I think we owe you something.”
“Is it a hug?”
“It is not,” Revna said firmly. “Inge?”
The other valkyrie sighed. “You’re sure about this?”
“He sacrificed much protecting us,” Revna said. “Do it.”
Inge pulled her mirror shades off, then lowered the visor on her helm. Wings sprouted from her back, and she launched into the air, flying straight at the sun. I followed her path until I couldn’t bear staring at the light any longer. Suddenly, there was a dimming of the sun’s brilliance. A shadow moved across the sun’s surface, and it got unnaturally cold.
“This feels ominous,” Chesa said.
“Quiet,” Esther whispered.
A moment later, Inge returned, carrying a round shield. Its face was glossy and black, with clasps of dark iron, and a leather strap for a handle. She held it gingerly, as though it might bite her.
“This is Svalinn, the shield that hides the sun, and protects the earth from its flames,” Revna said, taking the shield from Inge. She pressed it against her forehead, then lifted it up and presented it to me. “It is yours, if you wish to bear it.”
“I . . . I don’t . . . ” Esther kicked me in the shin, and I stumbled forward. “I would be honored.”
The three valkyries nodded as I accepted the shield from Revna. Its surface was cold to the touch. It was as light as a breath, but felt harder than steel.
“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll wield it with pride.”
“I trust you will,” Revna said. “Now, if you’ll pardon us, we have valkyries to find.”
There was a rumble of diesel and the screeching of gears. Lillie’s old pickup rolled around the corner, no driver, but a curious look on its headlights. It lumbered to a stop in front of Lillie and Inge. With a final look back at Valhalla, they got in the cab. Revna closed the beer hall’s massive doors, then hung a sign across it and hopped into the bed of the pickup. The throne was back there, and she lounged on it like a queen.
“Good luck,” Esther called.
“We don’t need luck, Captain,” Revna said. “Keep the world safe while we’re gone.”
“We’ll do our best.”
“Well. That will have to do.”
The pickup roared to life and pulled away. We watched as it rumbled down the hill, until it disappeared into the clouds. The sound of its engine lasted for a long time after that, until finally that, too, faded. I looked toward the sign on the door.
Closed For Renovations.
Please Try Again Later.
Or Go To Hell.
We Don’t Care.
“Such friendly people,” I said.
“They’ll be back,” Esther answered. “Come on. We need to get you home. That shield will meld into your old one, eventually, but you’ll need practice. And I need a drink.”
“Not mead,” Chesa said.
“Not mead,” I confirmed. “Maybe orange soda.”
“No sugar for you. Not if you want to get back to your domain anytime soon.”
We loaded back into the HMS Hangnail. I looked back to Valhalla. The silent hall was creepy, especially knowing that it was full of dead Vikings. I wondered where Solveig had gotten to, and whether I would see her again. I was still thinking about this when the clouds closed around us, and we fell back down into the real world.