CHAPTER TWELVE
“While there are many papers published on what the differences are, the cause of the difference still remains unknown, including whether it is due to mutations of the H7D3 virus. Our goals today are twofold: characterize disease progression for—as well as differences between—alphas and betas, then determine how H7D3 affects the central nervous system during disease progression.”
—Lecture part of “Grad 725—Research Methods for the Infected” by Dr. Tedd Roberts,
University of the South, 2047
The next morning I was up before dawn. Not wanting to disturb Ulla, I got ready for the day in absolute darkness before slipping out of the rooms. I caught sight of Sister Ann in the main room of the bunker, but she only waved at me as I went out the door. She knew today was potentially going to be a big one, and me getting out early to do a perimeter sweep was important. The last thing we needed was for some shambler to find its way up to campus while most of the girls were in town.
Before exiting, though, I snagged a few cans of baked beans and stuffed them in my jacket. Nobody really liked them, so they were sitting near the back of the inventory shelf. They were high in protein and had enough fiber to make poop levitate six inches above the water—or so I’d been told—so they were a healthy option for Colton.
It was a cold morning. Winter had definitely arrived, though we still hadn’t gotten any snow yet. Frost, sure. That was an everyday occurrence now. The wind was cold and biting. Thankfully, we’d raided the donations room finally and cleaned it out. Maybe one day it would be filled with donations from locals again, but since Sister Ann didn’t want to go back down there after we told her about little Jacob’s body in the nurse’s office bathroom, we’d cleared out everything of value we could find. We did have to remove the other three bodies Lucia and I had left in there, though, before we could hit the donations room. One of the prizes had been worth the work, though: a really nice winter coat that’d probably cost a small fortune when new, which I gave to Ulla since it was too small for me.
With Baby in its sling, I made a deliberate effort to let the lookout on the roof watch where I was heading. There was no reason to give whoever was up there—probably Emily, but maybe Kayla—any reason to wonder where I was going. Everyone knew by now that I took the same path down every time, unless there was an emergency. The back entrance of the school was simply expected. It would look suspicious if I went any other way.
Even if it was the opposite way to Colton’s.
The trek around campus was slow going. Sticking to a well-worn deer trail, I moved through the brush with practiced ease. Having been down this trail at least one hundred times, I could have probably done it blindfolded. If not for the admittedly slim chance of running into a shambler, I might have tried.
It was quiet around me. My breath came out in little puffs of steam every time I exhaled. The cold stung my cheeks a little. It was a far cry from what I’d grown up with in Southern California. There I might need a hoodie on chilly mornings, maybe. Before coming to St. Dominic’s I’d never experienced cold like this. Sure, I’d gone up to Big Bear a few times in the winter, but the air up there was dry. Even snowboarding up in Mammoth wasn’t like it was here.
In the South, even the freezing cold was humid. There was almost never a reprieve from it.
There no shamblers out this morning. Nothing was out, actually. No birds, no wild animals running around. The air was cold but still. The patrol was quickly turning into nothing more than a calm, peaceful walk. Still, I needed to stay aware. Shamblers had a nasty tendency to simply appear as if by magic when you least expected them. It was really annoying.
It took awhile for me to make it to the small house where Colton was staying. While it definitely would have been a shorter trip if he’d stayed in the ranger’s cabin, someone might have seen something eventually. The building wasn’t easy to see from campus but if Rohena was actually paying attention during the midnight watch, there was always the chance she could have seen him. Down here, closer to the main entrance of the school and the Moose Lodge, was better in the long run.
There was a slight fog around Colton’s place. It wasn’t much, only coming up to the knees, but looked eerie in the early morning light. Keeping on eye on the two neighboring houses, I hurried up to the front door. I knocked twice, waited a moment, then knocked again. Colton answered almost immediately.
“I saw you coming,” he said. Impressed, I smiled.
“Didn’t even see the curtain move,” I told him. Digging into my coat pockets, I pulled out the extra beans I’d pilfered from the pantry. “Brought you these.”
“You’re up early,” he said as he accepted the cans of beans. He looked down at them and smiled. “Thanks.”
“De nada,” I replied with a shrug. “They’ve got brown sugar in them, so not the healthiest.”
“Heh.” He snorted, clearly amused. “Like I’m worried about how healthy the food I eat is. As long as it keeps me alive, I’m not too picky.”
“I’ve got plenty more of that,” I told him. “None of the others like baked beans, so we’ve got tons.” Looking around the small house, I was impressed by what I saw. There was a small pile of electronics and what looked like batteries. If society ever rebuilt he’d make a killing in the used electronics department. Near that pile were some canned goods he’d found somewhere. The boy had been busy since I last saw him. “Been out scavenging a bit, have we?”
“Oh, uh, yeah.” He waved a hand at the pile of stuff in the corner. He set the cans of beans on the small kitchen table. “I hit a few houses down the road. I checked for zombies . . . uh, shamblers. Didn’t see any so I checked the pantries. Found some stuff. Hope you don’t mind.”
“I don’t think it matters,” I admitted after giving it some thought. Sister Ann had mentioned sending a group with me that way to see what we could find. I guess we weren’t going to find much now. “How far down the road did you go?”
“A mile or two,” he said.
“Ah, yeah, toward the old golf course up there?”
“There’s a golf course around here?”
“Used to be. There was talk about restoring it before the Fall.” I guess he hadn’t gone as far as he thought.
“Oh. I didn’t see it.”
There was an awkward pause. I wanted to talk to him, but I really didn’t know what to say. Fortunately, he was one of those people who have a way with breaking any tension in a conversation.
“So what’s got you up and out so early anyway?” Colton asked as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. He leaned back and looked at me suspiciously. “See a shambler or something?”
“No, haven’t spotted one in days,” I said. Which was true, actually. It’d been a minute since I’d seen one running around, and that one was the strange little beta who kept coming down to the creek. Neither Ulla nor I could get a good shot at it. The thing was starting to get on my nerves. “Got something exciting going on.”
“Really? What’s so important that’s got you up before noon?” he asked. He knew about my love of sleeping. I rolled my eyes and snorted, amused.
“Ten. Noon is for lazy people. And we’re going into Covington to try to recruit someone.”
“Oooh, sounds like fun . . . not really. Lots of zom—shamblers, sorry, in town still. I saw a bunch when I was sneaking through . . . well, around, really.”
Shrugging, I looked out the living room window. The sun was higher in the sky and it was easier to see everything. Not only had he snagged some electronics and batteries, he’d also found a bunch of clothes. He’d listened to me and focused on earth-tone colors, which were less likely to catch the eye of a roving shambler. I don’t know why but I was surprised he listened. “Calling them zombies doesn’t bother me.”
“But you call them shamblers?”
“Because they’re not zombies, not really,” I answered, thinking back to what I’d heard on the shortwave. “They’re not the walking dead or anything like that. They’re living, breathing, and can be killed. They’re just . . . not human anymore.”
“So . . . like aliens?”
“Hah. You’re funny.”
“Thanks.”
“I was being sarcastic.”
“Oh. So . . . who’s in town that’s got your nun so interested? You find some doctors still alive or something?”
“Did you see any?” I asked. He shook his head. “Well, then . . . no.” Colton made a face and I immediately felt bad. Blame it on the early hour, but I was being unnecessarily cruel to the boy. I’d come to see him, after all. No need for me to be a bitch about things. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have asked. You guys do your thing up there. I shouldn’t pry.”
Now I felt worse. “You should know anyway. Might convince you to come up to campus. You know, where it’s safe? We think we found a veterinarian.”
He looked doubtful. “And?”
“And what?”
“What’s so special about a veterinarian?”
“Are you crazy? They know loads of biology, and pretty much know everything a doctor knows. Kind of.” I rubbed my face and tried not to sigh. “The point is, they had to pass biology and stuff like that. They know how to make splints and . . . I don’t know, do surgery? Plus, all their patients are bitey. Shamblers are bitey. She’s probably dealt with a few, you know?”
“Oh! I didn’t know veterinarians could do all that.”
“I didn’t either until Sister Ann told me,” I said, feeling a little better now that he was smiling again. “Animal doctors have to go through a lot of similar courses that human doctors do, according to Sister Ann. Give the doc a book and she’ll know just about everything!”
“Oh, nice,” he said, smiling again. “I hope she joins you . . . Well, uh . . . good luck?”
And then he reached out and hugged me. Instead of pushing him away, though, I carefully wrapped my arms around his torso in reply. We stayed that way for almost a full minute.
The act might not have been earth-shattering to most. For me and all my trust issues with boys? It was a first step in the right direction.
Even if I was being a bitch, he was trying. Had to give him points for trying.
No. No, I didn’t, I reminded myself as the image of my ex-boyfriend flashed through my mind.
It was midafternoon by the time we had the BearCat fully loaded down and were ready to roll out. Sister Ann wanted us to be prepared for anything that might happen, so I had Ulla kitted up with a loaded rifle. I had Baby, and there were a few others who were carrying—though their weapons were unloaded. None of them looked really comfortable with their guns, but lessons from Sister Ann had them at least not pointing them at one another.
“Treat every firearm as if it’s loaded, even if you know it’s not,” Sister Ann had warned the younger girls repeatedly. And will wonders ever cease, they actually listened. Even the twins paid attention.
Given their penchant for things that went boom, though, I shouldn’t have been too surprised.
On our way down the mountain we rolled past Colton’s place. I tried not to be too obvious that I was looking at the house as the BearCat rumbled past. Though I was pretty certain he wouldn’t step outside to wave, it wasn’t absolute. Plus, what if one of the other girls spotted him if he peeked out a window? Sister Ann would not hesitate to pull the BearCat over. It was in her nature to protect people and Colton, alone in the wild, was one of those people.
Stupid boy.
I smiled anyway. While he didn’t seem the type to shoot any shamblers, him living on campus would be helpful for Kayla. She’d been doing most of the grunt labor and heavy lifting of things since the Fall. The girl was getting super jacked but a second person who could actually lift more than fifty pounds would be nice. As a side benefit, I could quit sneaking down the mountain to bring him extra food.
The drive into town took what felt like forever. Sister Ann, always a cautious driver, wouldn’t get the vehicle up above forty. Not couldn’t, but wouldn’t. I didn’t ask why though I really, really wanted to. Sister Ann probably would have gone on about how patience was a virtuous, and things happen not in our time but on God’s, which more than likely would have devolved into a lecture on the sins of haste or something. To save everyone else in back the hassle, I kept my mouth shut.
See? Total team player.
Once we exited I-64 and were in the town proper, it didn’t take us long to find the house where Dr. Jefferson was staying at. There weren’t many houses in the area that looked like they could be lived in, and she’d picked the one that was in the best shape. Plus, the candy shop had been a distinctive piece of architecture, built in the shape of a teepee. Half of it had collapsed in on itself but it was still there, still somehow standing.
The story of us, really.
Though the BearCat had plenty of diesel fuel left, Sister Ann was quick to point out that we were going to be pushing our stolen armored vehicle soon unless we could track down more fuel. There were underground tanks around town but since the entire area flooded they were probably all contaminated with water. We hadn’t found any place yet where diesel was stored above the flood zone. There was some hope of a gas station up past the Moose Lodge but since a mudslide had half-buried the road beyond, those hopes weren’t high.
Dr. Jefferson’s place was cute, a squat, short house that looked like it’d been built out of nothing but brick. I got out first and looked around, but there was not a shambler in sight. Ulla was up top in the turret. It was arguably the safest place for her to be with the rifle.
Dr. Jefferson had two massive dogs flanking her as she sat on her front porch. She was fanning herself and looked quite comfortable. The veterinarian’s expression changed when Sister Ann exited the BearCat, but that was to be expected. Armed Catholic schoolgirls, led by a nun, in what appeared to be a tank, rolling up on her in the middle of a zombie apocalypse? Yeah, things post-Fall were weird. It would make even the most welcoming of persons a little nervous.
She was a nice enough lady, I guess. Her dogs seemed friendly as well, though they were alert and watching us as Sister Ann approached the house. Someone once said that’s how you can judge a person, but dogs had loved Hitler, so who knows? First thing I noticed about the doctor was that she had a strange accent. Like she was from New York or something. Jersey maybe? Considering she and Lucia could have passed for sisters, it made me wonder which one of her parents had been named Jefferson. Pretty certain the other one was from Puerto Rico or something.
Sister Ann stopped at the edge of the lawn and waved. Dr. Jefferson waved back and invited her up to the porch. I couldn’t hear much at first, but the initial introductions and pleasantries seemed to go well. Instead of paying attention to their discussion, I kept an eye out for any signs of a shambler. Covington, from everything we’d seen up to this point, still had some. Even with it being as cold as it was.
A problem quickly arose in the middle of their conversation—Dr. Jefferson didn’t want to come up to the school with us. She was perfectly fine where she was, thank you very much.
“Look, I appreciate you wanting me up at your school,” the short, dark-haired woman said as her dogs carefully sniffed each and every one of us—including Sister Ann, who the two giant Great Danes clearly were intimidated by. I couldn’t blame them, really. She had that effect on all of us. “But as long as this King Dale leaves me alone, I’m happy down here.”
“Why?” I asked, genuinely curious. It wasn’t like there was anything left of the area. The massive tidal wave from the dam failing had hit this part of Covington especially hard. These particular homes were only standing because of the bend in the river, and how high these homes were above it. Even then, it was clear the candy shop had been tagged by debris. With the partially collapsed wall, it looked like a giant cave.
A cave maybe filled with candy? My stomach rumbled at the thought of all that abandoned sugar sitting in the dark, lonely.
She shrugged before answering. “Not to be rude, but a Catholic school and me aren’t going to get along.”
“You Mormon or something?” I pressed. She shook her head.
“No. I’m an atheist.”
“Why does that matter?” I glanced over at Sister Ann. For some reason she seemed content to let me run this part of the conversation. She remained off to the side, dealing with the younger girls who’d come along to act as a security contingent. The only thing was, they were all for show. None of their weapons were loaded, save for Ulla’s—which was my doing. There was no way I was going to have the only other shooter at the school unarmed. The girls up on campus were locked down in the bunker, watched over by Emily and Rohena, waiting for us to return. It was a risk, but gaining the services of the veterinarian was important enough, according to Sister Ann.
“Why does that . . . ? What sort of Catholic are you?” Dr. Jefferson asked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted with a shrug. “The good kind?”
“You seem like a good enough kid, but I’m okay for now.”
“I’m not a kid,” I protested. It might have sounded a little too argumentative, but I’d legally been an adult for months now. “I’m eighteen!”
“Sorry,” she apologized as she motioned toward her cheekbones. “It’s your freckles. They make you look very young.”
Sister Ann rode in to save the day before I ruined everything with my anger. “You would be more than welcome up at the school.”
“You are the oddest nun I’ve ever met,” Dr. Jefferson muttered. Sister Ann beamed at that.
“Thank you.”
A piercing whistle interrupted the conversation. Glancing around, I spotted Lucia in the distance waving her arms and pointing toward I-64. We knew what that meant—King Dale and his posse were on their way.
“Maddie?” Sister Ann asked in a quiet tone.
“BearCat should be hidden from his approach,” I responded quickly, thinking over the different routes Dale could take to our location. If he were smart he’d split his men into two groups and come in from two different angles. Then again, he had no idea we were here. Plus, debris blocked the easy route in through town. He’d come en masse, thinking to impress the veterinarian with his numbers, probably. No, he’d stick to a group approach. Which meant . . . he’d come down Carpenter Drive. Yeah, the BearCat would definitely not be seen if he came from that way. I made my decision quickly. “Those two groves over there and there”—I pointed out to everyone else what I was referring to—“should be able to provide a good hiding spot for our, uh, snipers. Where do you want me?”
“We’re all going to be out of sight,” Sister Ann instructed. “You need to be closest to the building here should things go sideways. I’ll have Ulla backing you up?”
“You sure?” I asked.
“Snipers?” Dr. Jefferson interrupted, confused. One of the Danes growled warningly. Faintly, voices could be heard in the distance. King Dale and company were coming. “Really, what kind of Catholics are you?”
“The choice is yours, Doctor,” Sister Ann said, ignoring the shock in the other woman’s tone. “If you don’t mind, though, we would like to stick around and see how you handle Appalachia Rex.”
“Appa—who?”
Sister Ann sighed dramatically. “The public education system has failed us in too many ways.”
“I did quite well in school, thank you very much. And I can take care of myself,” the doctor said as she reached behind her back and pulled out probably the biggest hand cannon I’d ever seen in my life. It was the sort of thing you’d see in an action movie or something. Images of Keanu Reeves came to mind. The dogs began wagging their tails excitedly. Clearly they’d seen the weapon before and associated it with something positive. What that could be, though, I’ll never know. Or wanted to ask, really.
“Is that a Smith and Wesson Twenty-nine revolver chambered in a forty-four caliber? The ‘Dirty Harry’ special edition magnum?” Sister Ann asked before smiling and nodding in approval. “Quality choice. That’s a very reliable piece. How’s the trigger action?”
“What the fuck kind of nun are you?” Dr. Jefferson asked in exasperation. Sister Ann clucked her tongue, displeased.
“Language, young lady. Maddie? Girls? Time to scoot,” Sister Ann ordered. We sprang into action. The dogs immediately went on alert as we pulled back, away from Dr. Jefferson’s building and across the street. There were a few places we could hide and not expose ourselves as we moved around. However, if we wanted to be able to help Dr. Jefferson should things go to Hell in a hurry, I’d also need to be able to move quickly and quietly—which meant behind the cars across the street from the ruined candy shop.
“What I would do for a candy bar right now . . .” I muttered quietly as Kayla joined me behind the cars. Leaning against one of the ruined cars pushed partway onto the sidewalk, I risked a glance at the old candy store. The temptation was strong. Chocolate has a long shelf life, right? “You think . . . ?”
“Sister Ann would whup you,” Kayla said before I could even finish the question. “She’d whup you good.”
“Fine,” I grumbled. I’d have to figure out a way to get a candy bar later. Maybe after King Dale gave up and went home? I would do horrible things for chocolate right now. Shooting King Dale in the kneecap was right up there at the top. Hell, I’d do it for free if Sister Ann asked. But still . . . chocolate. Less than twenty feet away, maybe. The temptation was all too real.
“How do you think this is gonna go?” Kayla asked as I watched Ulla settle nearby with Lea and Melinda. Some of the others were with them. As far as I could tell, they would be out of sight when King Dale arrived.
“Depends on when Sister Ann reveals that we’re here,” I replied after thinking it over for a second.
“A lady reveals nothing,” Sister Ann interrupted our musings. Somewhere along the way she’d snagged the bullhorn from the BearCat—more likely, one of the girls had been carrying it for her and I hadn’t noticed. Her voice was positively serene as she crouched down next to us. Kayla coughed, clearly embarrassed, and looked at me. It was always easy to forget just how good her hearing was.
“Good thing she’s the only lady around here,” I whispered. Kayla giggled and shushed me. We turned our attention back on Sister Ann.
“I am not the only lady here. Don’t forget, girls,” the nun added, somehow overhearing our whispered conversation, “St. Dominic’s isn’t here just to help you graduate high school or make you strong, independent women, but to guide you in becoming ladies as well.”
“I don’t think the average lady carries an AR-15, Sister,” I pointed out. She just smiled slightly before forming a reply.
“What in the world makes you think any of you are average ladies? As if I would settle for any of you just being average. As you are wont to say: girlfriend, puh-lease.”
She had a point. Sister Ann wouldn’t rest until we all had reached our full potential. She was annoying like that. Endearing, but frustrating. It was hard living up to someone else’s expectations all of the time. Sometimes a girl just needed a break and to coast. Sister Ann—all of the nuns, really—demanded more of us. Like we deserved to try harder than we had been. You know what? It’d worked.
That was, of course, before the Pacific Flu came along and ruined everything.
Shoving the thought from my mind, I hunkered down and waited. It didn’t take long. King Dale might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was a punctual man. The time it took him to appear until he was just about threatening the poor veterinarian was probably less than three minutes.
Punctual, and predictable.
“Good morning, Dr. Jefferson! You’re in the Kingdom of Appalachia, which is mine by rule of law!” King Dale’s voice echoed through the neighborhood. Meanwhile, the dozen or so men who followed him had spread out behind him. Most were carrying weapons, but nobody was pointing them toward the house, or Dr. Jefferson hiding inside. Instead, they were looking for shamblers over their shoulders. Had they run into some unpleasantness on their way into town? It was something to keep in mind.
Looking around, I could see two clusters of trees flanking where Dr. Jefferson was holed up. Sister Ann had pointed them out to us earlier. It was shady within them but I couldn’t see any of Appalachia Rex’s men near. Nudging Sister Ann with my elbow, I jerked my chin toward the trees. I followed it up with a pointed look at the girls who she’d designated the “Kitty Squad”: Melinda, Ulla, and Lea, who were hiding behind a flipped pickup truck nearby. She immediately caught my meaning and began conferring with the younger girls in a quiet voice.
Meanwhile, King Dale seemed to be enjoying his little spiel. “That means you are under my protection, as well as my rule. Come back to my camp and you will be richly rewarded, and protected as well. It’s dangerous for a woman, alone in this shattered, broken world. I have use for a doctor who is self-sufficient and skilled at her job.”
“If you’re a real king, then I’m the Duchess of Elenna-nórë, you illiterate halfwit!” the doctor shouted. I snorted.
“Did she just use Tolkien as an insult to counter during an argument?” Sister Ann asked quietly. Everyone looked at her, confused. I hadn’t read that far in the series yet, so I had no idea. For a brief instant a spike of terror hit me in the stomach. What if Sister Ann wanted me to write a book report on them? However, she sounded more amazed than anything else. “I love this woman. She’s going to be a wonderful fit up on campus. What a glorious day.”
“Why do the bad guys always monologue?” I asked instead, not wanting to admit I wasn’t caught up on my reading. Lucia tittered and slapped a hand over her mouth. Sister Ann shot us a look and we quieted down.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Doctor, but my kingdom is huge. It goes almost all the way up to Warm Springs. Hell, if I had more men, I could probably take Roanoke. I might even go to Lexington!”
I doubted he’d get past the tiny town of Iron Gate but I bit my tongue. We hadn’t seen yet what the tidal wave from Lake Moomaw had done to Clifton Forge or to Iron Gate but, since both were on the Jackson River and in the direct path of everything headed downstream, I doubted King Dale would make it that far.
Apparently the doctor thought so, too. “You couldn’t even take this house. Leave me alone or my dogs are gonna eat you alive!”
“I don’t want to hurt your dogs, little miss,” King Dale replied. He sounded sure of himself. “But I won’t hesitate to put them down if need be. Might as well come with us. Nobody’s coming to help you. Ain’t nobody around who can stand up to me or my army.”
“A straighter line from a fool has never been so smartly given,” Sister Ann murmured as she took the megaphone from Kayla’s hands. She nodded at her. “Take Kitty Squad. Split them into two groups and hide in those trees. Wait for my cue. You remember it, right?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Kayla answered immediately. She sounded excited. Sister Ann smiled at her.
“Okay. Be safe. And make certain you stay out of sight.”
Kayla took the younger girls with her. I watched them duck behind a large hedge of overgrown bushes and lost track of them. Unlike the last time we ran into King Dale’s men, all of the girls were dressed in hunting gear we’d scavenged from the clothing closet and some of the abandoned homes in the area we’d only recently started to search. We weren’t standing out in the woods again in pleated skirts and white blouses, I can promise you that.
Sister Ann smacked the side of the bullhorn against her palm before lifting it to her face. The megaphone projected her already loud voice to Biblical proportions. “Good morning, Appalachia Rex! How are you doing on this fine autumn day?”
King Dale’s face contorted into a weird combination of fear, loathing, and uncertainty all bundled up beneath his beard. He spat out a mouthful of what I assumed were curses, though not loud enough for me to really hear anything specific. Sister Ann must have supernatural hearing, though, because she immediately admonished him.
“Language, Appalachia Rex.”
“Damn it!” he fairly screamed as he ducked behind an old, abandoned car. His head began swiveling around in every direction, looking for . . . what, I wasn’t sure. More infected? A pissed-off teenaged girl with a rifle? Considering the last time we’d run into one another like this, I couldn’t really blame him. Those shamblers had nearly done a number on his groupies. Plus, we stole his not-a-tank. That probably stung worse than losing any of his men. “Why the hell do you gotta turn up in the middle of delicate negotiations?”
“Again with the language.” Sister Ann clucked her tongue and sighed dramatically. “I thought you would remember. Some lessons you are slow to learn, it appears. Nevertheless, I must admit I am a bit surprised to see you in some sort of standoff with a woman who clearly doesn’t want to join your ‘noble’ endeavor. What are you trying to accomplish here? You’re projecting insecurities here by making demands. What is it that you’re hiding? Is it shame? Fear?”
“You’re the one who’s hiding, Sister,” he snapped loudly. “Hiding behind the cloth, that river over there, on top of y’all’s mountain!”
“You’re the one engaging in kidnapping,” Sister Ann fired back. “Well, attempting to. Not a good look for you, really. What happens when you grow tired of hearing ‘no,’ Appalachia Rex? What sort of man are you when the chips are down?”
“You’re still hiding!”
“It’s not hiding. It’s called prudence.”
“You’re a woman of the cloth! You say your faith can’t be doubted. If your faith is so strong, then why don’t you step out into the open and face us!”
“My faith in God is absolute and can’t be questioned by the likes of you,” Sister Ann called back in a loud voice. Her tone then dropped low enough so only us girls who were near could hear. “Nowhere does He demand His followers be stupid in the face of the enemy, either. Chesty Puller and Jesus definitely agree on that one.”
I tittered at that. I had no idea who Chesty Puller was but she sounded awesome—although that was one unfortunate nickname.
“I’m not about to let you kidnap some poor woman who clearly doesn’t want your help,” Sister Ann continued. “I’ve got six rifles all aimed on you. Your men should be fine, but you will have a very bad day if you keep this up.”
“What about ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill,’ Sister?” Rex shouted back.
“Who said anything about killing?” Sister Ann looked toward the two clusters of trees and nodded. “Show him.”
None of the rifles we had were equipped with those old-fashioned laser sights you used to see in the movies. Thanks to the deceased Mr. Stitmer and his gun safe, we had plenty of the green-dot variety, but those you didn’t really see if they were being pointed at you. However, he also loved his cats and had the little red laser pointers scattered throughout his house. The cats had run off during the early days of the Fall, hopefully were surviving in the wild.
Good old Appalachia Rex over there didn’t know about our cat laser toys, though. Laser pointers were cheap, their batteries lasted forever, and they made great psychological weapons in a standoff.
They were especially effective when the dust from their own moving around allowed for the red laser beams to show up rather nicely. It looked even more impressive when there were six coming in from multiple angles and aimed at unexpected areas. Instead of being aimed at his head or chest, the other girls had pointed their lasers at, well, his junk. For some reason guys would rather have their head blown apart than risk injuring their manhood. Stupid, right? It was very stupid, but also effective.
Cat toys for the win.
King Dale looked down and I swear his face turned a new shade of white.
“I don’t know about you, but it appears that you should survive a shot there.” Sister Ann’s voice was as sweet as honey. I shivered. Sister Ann terrified me, even while earning my respect and love.
“Why do you torment me so, woman?!” Dale fairly screamed as he tried to brush away the laser dots. His reaction was predictable and also hilarious. If not for the standoff, I would have died laughing my ass off right there. “Lawlessness is something God hates! Says so right in the scripture! I’m bringing order to a chaotic land! To my people in my land!”
“By trying to take young women and girls away from my care to serve in your totty harem?” Sister Ann replied hotly. Something about what he said had royally ticked the nun off. Not for the first time I wondered about what had happened to her before she’d left the Marines and joined the Dominican Order. Being a Dominican nun was not something any woman went about casually—at least, that’s what Sister Ann always said. Something had to have happened when she was a marine and it had left a mark on her. I noticed that one of her hands was trembling slightly as she raised the bullhorn back to her mouth and continued.
“Kidnapping a young woman, taking her against her will?” I wouldn’t say she was yelling, because Sister Ann only speaks in a voice that everyone could hear. If it were any of us girls, though, it might be called yelling. Through a bullhorn. With the volume set to MAXIMUM. “It’s clear she does not want to go with you. You claim to be a good king, yet you do villainous things! Or try, which is worse! You think your men—who were good men before our tests and tribulations began, no doubt—want to watch you take young girls into your bed? You think the bad men who follow you won’t get jealous and want something similar? Or to take more later? How many of your men are fathers, or were? How many do you think will stand by and idly watch as you crown yourself some hillbilly despot? You are a nuisance, but you haven’t descended yet to filth. Yet. You can still change, Brother Dale. You can do better. You should be better than this.”
I twitched at that. It was the first time I’d ever heard Sister Ann call the so-called King of Appalachia by his given name.
“I’m tired of this game, Sister!” he screamed back. He couldn’t see us but he had to know roughly where we were at. The laser pointers showed him roughly where they were originating from. “Either shoot me, or leave me be. Dr. Jefferson is coming with me and my men!”
“I told you I wasn’t going,” the doctor yelled from within the dilapidated house. “I’d rather go with the nun than you creeps!”
Well, that was one way to recruit.
The men who’d been standing not too far behind Dale had backed away at the sight of the lasers shining in the dust. He continuously made a swiping motion near his junk, trying to get rid of the lasers. Failing, as well. The pure absurdity of the situation was something I would never have believed if not for the fact I was watching it with my own eyes.
Fortunately, none of King Dale’s guys looked like they were ready to shoot at us just yet. A few of them even appeared amused by it all. Not many, of course. But they were there. Watching the self-proclaimed king. Judging.
They were the cracks in King Dale’s armor, I suddenly realized. A sword smashed against a shield just made a loud noise, and sometimes broke the sword. Just like we were threatening to do now. But a dagger in between the ribs while the shield is elsewhere? Clarity struck me.
Sister Ann’s words about trying to kidnap or coerce the veterinarian against her will hadn’t been for King Dale, no. They were for the men who followed him. The fathers whose children died during the Fall. The grandfathers who’d seen their grandbabies die. The men whose wives had turned into mindless raging things and they could do little to save them.
I looked at her in a new light. Sister Ann was way more devious than I ever would have given her credit for.
Freaking nuns, dude.
King Dale’s men started to drift away. Slowly, but it was there. They weren’t looking for a fight with us. Most of them, anyway. I could see one or two of them with looks on their faces that suggested bad things could come if they had the chance. We could worry about them later, though. First things first.
King Dale must have sensed the change of mood with his men because he started backing away. He raised his hands and shook his head.
“There’s a reckoning coming, Sister!” he shouted one final time at us. None of his men could be seen. He was almost out of sight as well. We’d won without a single shot being fired and nobody dying. Progress. “The King of Appalachia doesn’t take kindly to this!”
“Run, inbred hick! Run your dumb ass home!” I crowed as he disappeared around the bend in the road. A soft cough interrupted my triumph.
“Madison?”
Aw, damn it. I should have known better.
“There is no need to mock him,” she admonished. “And watch your language. You owe me demerits.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, chagrined. Of course I’d be the first one to get demerits since the Fall. Lea and Melinda came around a big tree just then, their unloaded rifles slung over their shoulders. Both girls looked immensely pleased with themselves as they pocketed their lasers. Not that I could blame either of them. Their timing with the laser pointers had been perfect. Ulla trailed only slightly behind them. She carried the loaded rifle and had been ready, just in case King Dale got a little froggy. Fortunately, the wannabe King of Appalachia had decided discretion was the better part of valor and had moved far enough away that he was no longer in clear sight. The road had a slight jog to it so it would give us time to get out of there. Or “egress” as Sister Ann would call it. It felt like there was little chance of him coming back to try again. We’d managed, once more, to avoid a direct fight with the man. “Good job, you three.”
“You are definitely better at this than old Dale over there,” Dr. Jefferson said as she exited her house. With experienced hands she guided her two Great Danes toward the BearCat. The black one turned and stared at me while the brindle-colored monster easily hopped into the back of the vehicle. Dr. Jefferson climbed in. The smaller brindle followed Dr. Jefferson inside. The doctor stuck her head back outside. “I’ll try my luck with you lot, if you don’t mind. I can’t believe you went out and stole a tank!”
“It’s not . . .” My voice trailed off as she disappeared within once more. Yeah, she was a veterinarian, but the woman seemed to have the attention span of someone half her age. Still, she would be invaluable up at the campus. While Sister Ann seemed to be a font of information, the only type of medicine she was used to dealing with were battlefield dressings and first aid. Dr. Jefferson? Probably much more. I sighed. The doctor was going to be as bad as Rohena.
“It’s not a tank,” I murmured in a quiet voice.
Lea and Melinda were already in the BearCat with the dogs and I could hear them oohing and ahhing over the Danes. Okay, yeah. For dogs the size of horses, they were cute. I guess. I don’t know. The only dog my family ever had was one of those demonic Chihuahuas who seemed to have it out for everyone but my mom. Besides, nobody ever looked at six pounds of hate and rage and said, “Oh, how precious.”
Nobody sane, at least.
In hindsight, that explained a lot about my mom . . .
Ulla’s sudden scream shook me to my core. I’d let my guard down and something had attacked. My head whipped around, looking for any sign of the shamblers. Instead of a shambler I spotted a large man struggling to hold Ulla’s arm while covering her mouth. She was fighting ferociously against him and he couldn’t get a good hold. It took less than a second for me to realize what had happened.
Someone had snuck around behind us when we were distracted by Dale and waited to make a move. If Ulla hadn’t managed an incoherent scream he might have snagged her without anyone noticing. He was clearly with King Dale’s men. I’d seen him before. There was no way of knowing if he’d been a good one, or bad, before the Fall. Nobody could know. The Fall changed us all, one way or the other.
None of that mattered now. He was trying to take Ulla. My innate protectiveness kicked into full gear in a heartbeat.
“Let her go!” I shouted and brought Baby up. Just like Sister Ann had taught me, I aimed with the green dot while keeping my finger resting on the trigger guard. Relaxed but ready. My heart was hammering in my chest, unlike the drills she’d put me through before. My attention was focused purely on the guy grabbing Ulla’s arm. She was clear and not in the way, but Sister Ann had drilled it into me that things could change in a hurry.
Ulla shrieked again and tried to jerk her arm away. The big man had a firm grip and jerked her farther away. Melinda tried to grab her but slipped and fell. I could hear confused shouting from the other girls but in my head it was just a jumbled mess. Lea was screaming. None of the words made any sense. All I could see was the camouflage hunting jacket, the gray undershirt peeking out at the collar, and the green dot.
“Let her go, damn it!” I yelled. Despite the cool air, sweat stung my eyes. My mouth was dry and my throat hoarse. Had I been screaming? Blinking to get the stinging under control, I tried to control my breathing. In my chest my heart was hammering. Everything around me smelled funny.
More incoherent background noise. I could see Dr. Jefferson out of the corner of my eye. Her two giant dogs were pulling hard at the leash. She was hanging onto the back handle of the BearCat with her other hand, but it was a near thing. It was clear both dogs wanted to get in on the action. Somebody else was screaming. Probably Kayla. Melinda was crying. In the sea of anarchy, I only heard one calm, collected voice in my ear.
“Take the shot. Protect the innocent.”
It was Sister Ann, and yet it wasn’t. The voice with which she spoke was born not in the studious halls of St. Dominic’s but on the fields of some war-torn foreign land in the midst of battle. Calm, firm, decisive. She understood what was at stake, more than anyone else. Not just the life of a little girl or of a violent man, but the soul of a young woman.
I’ve never been one to express my feelings well. It was why I’d taken the role of security at the school. Shooting the shamblers was far easier than dwelling on those we’d lost. But at the moment I understood what love truly was. Unabashed love. My soul was only in danger from myself. If I hesitated, the dark spiral into depression would be fast, especially if something happened to Ulla because of my inaction. Sister Ann knew me, knew all of us. Understood what made us tick. If I allowed Ulla to be taken, or hurt?
Worse still, if I could have prevented it?
Green dot, center mass. Big center, too. It was almost point-blank range. There was no way I could miss. I’d done this enough times with the shamblers now that it was almost second nature. But this wasn’t a shambler, wasn’t one of the rabid creatures who’d once been a person. This was a person. A human being with a soul. I hesitated. Ulla shrieked wordlessly again. Sister Ann’s calm, quiet words were still ringing in my ears.
The man’s free hand dropped to his hip. The holster was as clear as day. His fingertips brushed the handle of the gun. He was going to kill someone. The decision was easy now. The danger was clear and evident. Every lesson drilled into me was shoved to the side by a single thought.
God, please forgive me.
I squeezed Baby’s trigger. The shot was high, clipping him in the right shoulder. He shrieked in pain but didn’t let go of Ulla. The man grabbed his gun and tried to bring it up but quickly realized his arm wasn’t really working anymore. Shoving Ulla away, he tried to switch the revolver from his right hand to his left. His eyes burned with anger and intent. There was no saving him, but I could still protect Ulla and the girls.
At what cost?
Didn’t matter. Protect them.
I’d pay it. The girls of St. Dominic’s were all I had left in this world.
Please . . . please forgive me, Lord.
I pulled the trigger two more times. The first shot punched him in the gut, low and near the hip. It was a painful wound, one that would have led to a slow, agonizing death. I’d seen it before with the shamblers. They didn’t feel pain like we did, but they could still die after being shot like that. Eventually. The second round hit his chest, three inches to the left of center.
Groaning, the man dropped his weapon and slowly stumbled back. He didn’t fall dead immediately, though. Baby’s rounds were too small for that, as Sister Ann had repeatedly drilled into my head. They were lethal but unless it was a head shot, it wasn’t an immediate death. Instead, he dropped to a knee. His left hand was clutching the belly wound I’d given him. His brain must not have begun to process the chest shot yet.
I kept Baby’s barrel trained on him but it was clear he was no longer a threat. His eyes were glazed, unfocused. I tried not to meet them, instead staring at the blood seeping out of the hole in his hunter’s coat. Coughing, he began to tilt to and fell onto the ground. His breaths came in heavy wheezes now as he struggled to breathe. One breath, then another. Each exhale came slower and slower until . . .
. . . they stopped.
He stopped breathing. Only the dead did that after being shot. Right?
Right?
“Holy shit,” I whispered. My hands ached and I didn’t know why. Everything was doubled. Baby felt like she weighed fifty pounds. The world was starting to spin. I really wanted to throw up. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit . . .”
“Language, Maddie,” Sister Ann’s quiet murmur cut through my litany of swearing. Blinking, I turned and stared at her. She pushed Baby’s barrel down and away. Looking down stupidly, I realized I’d trained the AR toward her. My hands let go and the safety harness let the weapon hang free. Sister Ann gently took the rifle from me and safed it after clearing the chamber.
Lucia turned to stare at me. I couldn’t meet her gaze. Her eyes drifted over to Sister Ann.
“Back to the school, Lucia. Now, girls,” Sister Ann instructed as she sat next to me. She draped an arm over my shoulders and pulled me closer. I buried my face in the coarse fabric of her sweater. Nothing made sense. She should hate me for killing a living, breathing, noninfected human being. I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand. “It’s okay, Maddie. It’s okay.”
But it wasn’t. Or at least, I wasn’t. Not even close.
Nobody from Dale’s group pursued us. They’d probably heard the shots and decided not to come back, thinking there might be shamblers running around. Even if they had, they couldn’t have kept up with the BearCat anyway. With Lucia at the wheel of the lumbering armored vehicle, we practically flew down what remained of I-64 to Mile Marker 10, then backtracked up to St. Dominic’s. It was the safest and best way to the school and, without any vehicles that we’d seen, there was no way Appalachia Rex was ever going to get there. Not unless he really wanted to hike up a massive mountain or four.
I wasn’t really aware of anything specific going on around me during this time. Oddly enough, I was also hyperaware of everything. Every single bump in the road seemed to jolt my nerves, but the words of the other girls around me were muffled and incomprehensible. The only thing I was really aware of when it came to the others was Ulla clinging tightly to me, her skinny arms wrapped around my waist. I knew I was soaked in sweat but for some reason couldn’t figure out why. It was the strangest thing.
Eventually we made it up to the school. Dr. Jefferson and her dogs were shown to the bunker while Sister Ann took control of the security contingent. Peripherally, I was aware of everything going on. This was my job. I wasn’t doing it. I’d failed. Or I’d wildly succeeded. Depends on who you asked. Security was supposed to be my responsibility. Yet I stood by and let the sister do her work.
Somehow I made it up to the roof of the cafeteria. I don’t remember climbing the ladder, or even why I chose it as my destination. Maybe it was the views it offered? Before the Fall, the top of the building had been one of the more popular places for girls to sneak up to if they wanted out of their cottages without leaving campus. It was the unofficial “cool” zone. Since none of the girls smoked up there, most of the sisters had let it slide. Even Sister Ann, and she was a stickler for the rules.
I was seated cross-legged on the ledge facing the mountains when I finally realized where I was. Blinking, I glanced around. There were people standing around but nobody was too close. A good thing, too. I didn’t want anyone to be close. Not at the moment.
They didn’t seem to want to talk, though. Sister Ann, Ulla, and Emily. That was nice of them. My eyes traced back to the outline of the tallest mountain in the distance. I wondered if it even had a name. Probably did. The people in this area named everything. They even had names for certain parts of Dunlap Creek.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to let it out slowly. Instead, all that came out was a choked sigh.
I killed someone. I’m a killer. My brain was a jumbled mess.
This was not how I’d envisioned my day ending.
“How do you feel?” Sister Ann asked as she sat down next to me. Clearly she’d been waiting for me to come out of whatever trance I’d been in. Taking my eyes off the dark mountaintop in the distance, I sighed. My heart hurt. Or was that my soul? I couldn’t tell. Talking might help. Or not. There was only one way to find out.
“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. “It feels weird, you know? Like, one second I’m okay, then bam! I feel like a horrible person and I’m going to Hell. Then it turns right around and I think it’s fine because he was trying to hurt Ulla.”
“Did you recognize him?” Sister Ann gently probed.
“No, I don’t think so.” Shaking my head, I stared back out into the distance. “I mean, I’ve seen him with Dale before, but that’s it. Does that make it easier?”
“I don’t know.” There was an honesty in her tone I found comforting. Sister Ann had never lied to me before. It was comforting to know she wasn’t going to start now just to ease my own inner turmoil.
We sat in silence for more minutes than I cared to count before I felt comfortable speaking again. “Am I going to Hell, Sister?”
“God’s forgiveness is expansive and great,” Sister Ann responded neutrally.
“That’s not a ‘no,’” I pointed out.
“Why did you shoot him? Other than me telling you to, I mean.”
“He was trying to hurt Ulla. Or kidnap her. I don’t know. It all happened so fast . . .”
“An unknown man was trying to hurt one of the girls you are responsible for,” Sister Ann mulled it over, almost speaking to herself. “On one hand, ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ is pretty definitive. But there are always justifications. The defense of the innocent is something God takes very seriously. So no, Maddie. My gut tells me you are not destined for Hell because of this. Repentance . . . yeah. It’s not an easy feat. As much as this might haunt you, you did the right thing. Thank you for protecting Ulla when I couldn’t.”
Deep down, I knew I had. I think that’s what hurt worse than anything else. Knowing I’d “done the right thing” by killing a human being. It made me feel cold and empty inside. Shivering, I pulled my knees up to my chest. A breeze blew across the rooftop, leaves dancing on the wind as they flew by. It was warm, but beneath it I knew what was to come. There was a deep chill in the air. Was it going to snow again? Sure felt like it.
Would King Dale attack us during snowstorm? I wanted to say no, but truth be told I had no idea. Not anymore.
None of his men had ever done anything so brazen before. Sure, he’d made threats and even tried to build a bridge to come get us. After what had just gone down, though, I was having second thoughts. What if there were girls back at wherever he was holed up? What if they’d been kidnapped? What could we do if there were? How would we stop it?
How would we stop him?
My gut told me that it was only going to get worse from here. More and more people who’d survived would be looking to either help, or harm. The shamblers were a menace, true, but the survivors could be even scarier. My hands started to tremble. It was getting harder to breathe. Was I going to have to kill them all? How could I repent for being such a monster? Was I to be nothing more than the school’s killer? What sort of person was I? How could I even be a person?
“Take a minute, Maddie.” Sister Ann interrupted my thoughts with a gentle nudge to my ribs. A strong, calloused hand grasped mine. She gave it a reassuring squeeze. The trembling stopped. When did it start? My ribs were hurting. Had I been hyperventilating? Jeez. How bad was I? She pulled me to my feet. “Just breathe easily for a minute. Don’t worry about tomorrow, or next week. Focus on the now. Everyone here is safe. All the girls in our care—no, your care—are safe and preparing for dinner. They’ll do Devotionals tonight before bed, then we’ll say a prayer for the souls of those who’ve died. All of them. Even him. Names don’t matter. God will know. Then the girls will go to sleep, comfortable knowing that anyone who would try to hurt them would have to go through both of us first. Some of the other girls might have feared what you do before, but after today? They’ll know you’ll always be the one to protect them. You are there for them, and they find comfort knowing this. Some might hide behind their own insecurities and be cruel now, but at the end of the day, when the barbarians are at the gate? It’ll be you they look to. You’ll stand and fight for them. They trust you.”
They shouldn’t have, but her words made me feel better. I felt the guilt slowly drift away, leaving me feeling drained but . . . okay. Not the best word, sure, but I’d be lying if I said everything was great. Of course, I couldn’t say everything was horrible at the same time. Yeah, “okay” worked fine for now. Later?
Sister Ann was right. I could deal with that later. Now? I just needed to breathe. Small steps.
Breathe in, relax, exhale.
Time passed. The sun drifted lower in the sky. Ulla silently joined us. She pushed her hip against mine and clasped my hand with both of hers. It felt okay, like the way my younger brothers used to back when we got along, before I’d become a total bitch to them. Ulla trusted me to keep her safe. The way they had, once. It was a nice feeling. It was humanizing.
The mountains grew darker still as the light made one last, desperate attempt to fight against the encroaching blackness. For a brief moment the sun created a wall of flame behind the changing leaves of the tree atop the mountain as light filtered through them. This was one of the rare instances when nothing on earth should be allowed to be so beautiful. The view was stunning. It was fleeting, sure, but the moment was there. A beacon of light, hope. Slowly I began to understand. I did not choose to kill someone. I chose to protect another. Was I ready to accept it, though? No, I wasn’t quite ready for that yet.
There was no light anywhere on the campus visible from where I sat, but for a moment I could almost imagine how it’d been before the Fall. It cheered me up a little more. As much as I’d hated it when I first arrived, St. Dominic’s really was the sort of place for a girl like me. I was not a monster, no. Protector was a better word.
I could deal with that, too. But later. Right now? I just needed a moment of stillness.
Breathe. Release.
Good girl.
Ulla rested her head on my shoulder another moment before quietly leaving. She’d been through a lot already, and today had almost broken her. Almost, but not quite. One of the youngest surviving girls of the school, she was made of stern stuff. We all were. Sister Ann had been absolutely right about another thing when it came to us girls: Why settle for average when you could be extraordinary?
None of us were average. Not after this.
“Sister?” I asked, my eyes on the setting sun as the sky began to change to reds, purples, and blues. It was a beauty I’d missed in the mad scramble to survive, and one I hadn’t paid attention to in months. Not since before Thanksgiving, at least. For the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt okay. Not only with myself, but with those of us who’d survived. However, something else had been weighing on my mind and I needed to know. It would help distract me from . . . other stuff. Things that I might actually dream about later. Questions are good. Seeking knowledge is never bad. Sister Ann believed that there really wasn’t a stupid question, merely an uninformed one. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course you can.”
“Umm, you know how you talked about your friend Chesty? Uh . . . how big were they?”
“What do you mean, Maddie?”
“Her, uh, breasts.”
“What?” Sister Ann stared at me now. She was clearly confused. This conversation was not going how she’d expected it to. “What are you talking about? Who are you talking about?”
“You know,” I said, shrugging. It was a little embarrassing. Embarrassing was better than the empty feeling I’d had earlier. It let me forget what I’d done, even if it were just for a minute. “Your friend, Chesty Puller? Your marine buddy? I mean, with that nickname, I can only imagine how big her boobs were. So, like, how big were they?”
Once she was able to form coherent words again, Sister Ann informed me that Chesty Puller was actually a dude. She told me his entire story, trying to distract me from my own thoughts. It was a good attempt. He’d been a badass marine from a long time ago and done lots of stuff, and saved many marines. But, still a dude. What sort of guy runs around being called “Chesty,” anyway? It was weird.
It was also distracting . . . which was good enough, for now.
I think.