CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
INTERLUDE
Support Chat Log
Date: September 6th
System: Thank you for your patience. A Build-A-Dragon support operator will be with you in three minutes.
Customer1: Hi.
System: Thank you for your patience. A Build-A-Dragon support operator will be with you in two minutes.
Customer1: I’m Billy!
System: Thank you for your patience. A Build-A-Dragon support operator will be with you in one minute.
Customer1: System is a weird name. Do your parents hate you or something?
Charles: Hello, and thank you for contacting Build-A-Dragon support. My name is Charles.
Customer1: Hi, I’m Billy!
Charles: Hello, Billy. Do you have a last name?
Customer1: Um, yeah. Everybody does.
Charles: Can you tell me it?
Customer1: I’m not supposed to give it to people.
Charles: That’s perfectly fine. We can get to it later.
Customer1: Where did that System guy go? Did he get fired?
Charles: Uh, no. I’m happy to talk to you, though. How can I help you today?
Customer1: Well, my mom said I should talk to you if Boomer ever got into trouble while she was at work.
Charles: I see. I take it your mom is at work right now?
Customer1: Yep! I’m in charge.
Charles: And Boomer is?
Customer1: My dog, DUH!
Charles: Your . . . dog?
Customer1: He’s the best dog in the world.
Charles: What is he like?
Customer1: Well, he’s a great friend. He let me pet him, like, right away. And he only likes people in our family. NOT strangers.
Charles: I was hoping you could tell me what he looks like.
Customer1: Oh! Well, he’s about three feet long, and kind of gray in color, with no fur.
Charles: No fur?
Customer1: He has this soft skin, kind of like a snake. Mom said it’s what makes him safe for our house, because I’m allergic to regular dogs.
Charles: Is it possible that he’s not really a dog at all?
Customer1: OH MY GOD you sound like my friends. He IS a dog. He’s just the special kind for kids with allergies.
Charles: I think I understand. You said Boomer got into trouble, right? Tell me about that.
Customer1: Well, we were playing in the backyard and he did something bad.
Charles: What did he do?
Customer1: It wasn’t his fault!
Charles: I’m sure that’s true. Just tell me what happened.
Customer1: We have this stupid bird in our oak tree. It’s gray and white and black. I can never remember its name.
Charles: Sparrow?
Customer1: No, not a sparrow. Why would anyone care about a tiny bird like that, dummy?
Charles: I had that one coming.
Customer1: It’s that bird that they wrote a book about being all innocent. But really they’re a pain in the butt. You know the one?
Charles: I believe you’re describing a mockingbird.
Customer1: Yes! Mockingbird. Well, it has a nest or something so it always flies at us and makes all kinds of noise when we play outside. It was doing that today and it was super annoying. I had to go inside just for a second to get a drink.
Charles: Did you leave Boomer outside?
Customer1: Yes. Just for a minute! Anyway, when I came back, the bird was gone. But Boomer had all of these feathers he kept coughing up.
Charles: Did anyone see what happened?
Customer1: No.
Charles: Then I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Billy.
Customer1: Oh, good. I feel MUCH better!
Charles: If that’s all—
Customer1: The same thing happened to Frisco.
Charles: Who’s Frisco?
Customer1: Our neighbor’s hairless cat. It’s ugly. It was in the yard trying to catch the bird.
Charles: Okay.
Customer1: It went on a long time. But then, I started to get a little hungry.
Charles: Oh, no.
Customer1: So I went in for a snack. SUPER fast.
Charles: Please tell me you brought Boomer in, too.
Customer1: Nope. But when I came back, Frisco was gone!
Charles: Well . . . maybe the cat left after the bird disappeared.
Customer1: But he left his collar behind. And a foot!
Charles: What did you do with those?
Customer1: Nothing. My neighbor, Mr. Jenkins, came and got them.
Charles: Did he say anything?
Customer1: He said bad words. He was holding the collar and the foot, and yelling at Boomer. And Boomer was hissing at him.
Charles: What happened next?
Customer1: I don’t know. I came inside and talked to you.
Charles: Billy, can I have your mom’s name and phone number?
Customer1: Sorry, that’s a secret.
Charles: Billy, it’s important!
Customer1: Nope, those are Mom’s Rules. And like you said, I have nothing to worry about. So I won’t worry! Thanks for your help. And tell System I said thanks, too.
Charles: Please stay on the line.
[System message: user disconnected]
Charles: They really don’t pay me enough for this.