That night's feast was a more civilized affair than that of Christmas day. It was a sit-down dinner followed by dancing.
It seems that I was responsible for introducing the polka into Poland. My brief dancing with Krystyana had apparently impressed everyone, and that evening the count insisted on my demonstrating it again. I spent a few minutes with the musicians, humming the tune and slapping my thigh for rhythm, and they picked it up quickly. Having no written music, they all played by ear.
I shall make no attempt at describing the sound of three krummhorns, four recorders, a shawm, two drums, and a bagpipe playing the "Beer Barrel Polka."
The scheduling was less hectic, too. The common women were divided into six groups that took turns playing servant for a day; each of the groups of adults was directed by an adolescent handmaiden. Somehow, it worked.
The count seemed to feel that it was necessary and proper for a knight to have at least two young women within reach at all times. I think they were called "handmaidens" because they were always on hand. The term "maiden" was a euphemism, of course. When they got pregnant, he married them off and replaced them. I later discovered that this was not an ordinary state of affairs. Most of his knights, as well as his liege lord, envied his ability to get away with it.
I was playing chess in my room with Sir Miesko when Krystyana darted in. She waved at me to follow her in an urgent, secretive way. I excused myself and followed. We went to an empty room next to the count's chambers. She put her ear next to the wall and motioned for me to do likewise. Confused, I did this.
I was shocked! Lambert and Novacek were discussing me! I pulled my head away and started back to my room, horrified that I should invade someone's privacy in this way.
Krystyana was still listening as I entered the hallway and the count stepped out beside me.
"Ah, Sir Conrad. I wanted to speak to you."
"Yes, my lord. Do you realize that your servants eavesdrop on you?"
"What? Of course! My dear Sir Conrad, either you are very naive or the servants in your own land are of a different breed of humanity. Servants eavesdrop! You might as well say that fishes swim. You can have servants or you can have privacy. You can't have both!
"But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. Come into my chamber. I want to finalize our arrangements with Boris Novacek. Was I correct in assuming that you wished to gift Boris with a twelfth part of your captured booty?"
"Well, yes, at least—"
"Excellent, because that is precisely the amount that he decided to give me as my Christmas present."
Boris was turning purple. "My dear Count Lambert, surely—"
"No, not another word. You have already been too generous. Now, Sir Conrad, you recently purchased armor. I have decided to buy the armor that you captured. What did you pay for your armor?"
"Seven hundred and eighteen pence, my lord."
"So, then my price of one thousand pence per set is generous."
"But Count Lambert," Boris protested, "I could obtain far more than that in Hungary! And besides the armor, there were weapons, saddles, bridles—"
"Yes, but I have decided to pay four thousand pence for the lot."
"But my lord—"
"But I have decided! So, that's settled. There was a dead horse that you brought in, which I accept as your contribution to the feast. The other captured horse—well, you lost a horse on my lands, so take it as my gift, a replacement.
"Sir Conrad, I have an errand for you. Go to the strong room; Krystyana will show you the way—Krystyana! I know you're listening! Get in here! Good. Now, go to the strong room. You will find, in addition to my own valuables, Boris Novacek's saddlebags, Sir Conrad's and the creditor's pouches, and a chest that they took from the German's camp. Pour both pouches into the chest. Then take four thousand pence from my own coffer and add it to the lot. Take three thousand pence out and put it in Boris's saddlebags, to pay for Sir Conrad's equipment. Then take one twelfth of the contents of the chest and put it in my coffers. The chest will be Sir Conrad's, and I believe we'll be square."
All of this verbal, without a scrap of documentation. I doubt if the count knew how much he had in his coffers. I could see that one of my services was going to be setting up a double-entry bookkeeping system for him.
"Oh, yes," he continued. "Krystyana, have all of my newly purchased equipment sent to the proper workmen. I want it all repaired and properly stored as soon as the holiday is over. The arms to the blacksmith, the horse trappings to the saddler, the clothes . . . Oh, I forgot the clothes. Well, I'll pay six hundred pence for them. Make that four thousand, six hundred pence that you throw in from my coffers.
"Well, it's good that all is settled."
"But my lord—"
"What is your problem, Novacek? You entered my lands with a knight and a loaded mule. You will leave with the same possessions, since Sir Miesko has graciously agreed to accompany you to Hungary and back at the same pay that you would have paid Sir Conrad. You will have enjoyed a holiday at no expense to yourself. As to the rest, you have had some adventures to talk of in the taverns. Where is your complaint?"
Boris bowed to the inevitable. It was obvious that one did not try to bargain with Count Lambert. "Well, there was the Arabic arithmetic that he was to teach me."
"Hmm. Sir Conrad, would you object to instructing Mr. Novacek while he is here, at your convenience?"
"Not at all, my lord."
"Then that's settled. Well, Krystyana, Sir Conrad? You have your orders. Go, but come back while the sun is still high. There is the matter of your oath of fealty."
Krystyana and I went down to the basement strong room. An army would have had trouble getting in there if it was defended, but a thief could have walked in if it was not. Most of the time, it was not. I would have to do something about locks.
We followed the count's instructions, and I began counting money. Krystyana looked at me strangely. She got out a balance scale and weighed the money. It seems that the coinage was not all consistent.
When we were through, I found that I was the owner of 112,200 pence. Krystyana told me that this was enough to hire every commoner in the fort for over five years!
It was absurd that a single person should have such wealth, especially a good socialist! I was dazed as we went back up to the sunlight.
At that time, throughout most of Europe an oath of fealty was taken with the vassal on his knees. His hands were placed together as if in prayer, with his lord's hands around them. The lord was seated.
That was not how it was done in thirteenth-century Poland. Here, you walked outside on a sunny day, with the biggest possible crowd of witnesses. You raised your right hand to the sun and made your oath in a loud voice. This was doubtless a thing held over from pagan days, but I still think it a more fitting ceremony.
My oath was, "I, Sir Conrad Stargard, promise to come to the aid of my liege lord, Count Lambert Piast, if ever he or the people on his land are oppressed. I shall obey him for nine years. This I swear."
The count returned: "I, Count Lambert Piast, promise to defend my vassal, Sir Conrad Stargard, to the best of my ability. I shall see to his maintenance and will do such other things as are, from time to time, agreed. This I swear."
People applauded, and that was it. No forms in quadruplicate, no committees to be consulted. I was beginning to like the thirteenth century.