Chapter Two
The nurse summoned a doctor, who brought an iPad with her. She set it on the swiveling tray that Annie’s meals would rest on, so she could type and then move it so Annie could read the screen. The nurse stood at the door with her notepad, “I’ll be right back” still scrawled on the top sheet.
After a few basic questions to determine Annie’s physical and mental states—both, Annie thought, should be considered suspect at the moment—Dr. Ganz went into the specifics. “Your left tympanic membrane is ruptured,” she typed. “The right one is also damaged, but less severely.”
“Will my hearing come back?” Annie asked. Her voice sounded strange, as if it had been recorded and played back at the wrong speed. She was desperately thirsty and had been sipping water from a pitcher by her bed.
Dr. Ganz looked about fifty. Her blond hair, showing traces of gray, was pulled back and tied behind her head. A few strands had escaped her scrunchie and framed her lean face. She wore glasses with black plastic frames, and a gold chain linked their temple pieces so they would hang on her chest when she wasn’t using them. She wore little makeup, if any—maybe a touch of lip gloss—and the only jewelry Annie could see were a pair of simple gold stud earrings. She smelled clean but wore no perfume to undercut the antiseptic odor of the hospital. Annie had the impression that she was a no-nonsense woman, with an undercurrent of melancholy about her. “We can’t know that yet,” Dr. Ganz typed. “Surgery can repair the membrane. Sorry, eardrum, to real people. But there could be residual scarring on both eardrums, and, until we know how extensive that will be, we don’t know the extent of your hearing loss. I wish I had better news for you.”
As Annie read, Dr. Ganz touched her hand. Annie understood it was meant to express sympathy, since the iPad didn’t provide tone of voice. And if she had filled the screen with smiley faces, Annie would have thrown the computer across the room.
“What about the others?” Annie asked. She could tell that her voice quaked, and she had held off asking the question this long because she was afraid of the answer. “Ryan and Matson and the rest, when can I see them?”
Dr. Ganz shook her head as she typed, those gray-blond wings wagging as she did. “I’m so sorry, Annicka. You’re the only one who pulled through. The EMT said the stairs might have saved you by blocking some of the force wave and the brunt of the debris. You were unconscious for 37 hours. You have a concussion and a compression fracture of your left clavicle. Collarbone. Some minor lacerations, a lot of bruising. Basically, considering what you went through, you’re in remarkable shape.”
Annie felt tears welling in her eyes again. Not for herself, this time. She wasn’t ordinarily so emotional—in fact, she took great pride in her ability to shove her feelings into a big, black, metaphorical garbage bag and leave them at the curb, unless, like the anger that had spurred her investigation of Trey Fairhaven, she could use them to her advantage—but she figured after what she’d been through, she was entitled to a little lapse. She glanced over at the nurse, who had turned her head away but dabbed at her nose with a tissue. “So I’m in great shape, but I’m deaf,” Annie said.
Dr. Ganz swiveled the tray again, tapped the keys. “For now,” she wrote. “That’s not uncommon with any loud noise. In most cases the hearing returns, although it’s sometimes reduced. Do you hear a ringing or buzzing now?”
“Yes,” Annie said. “Like there’s a chain saw in my head. Or a combination chain saw/kitchen timer.”
“I’m not surprised,” Dr. Ganz typed. “That may or may not go away.”
Annie swallowed hard, her stomach suddenly churning, afraid she might vomit right on the doctor’s computer. Two days ago, she had been a reasonably happy and healthy cop. Now she was deaf and broken, her lover dead. Did she have a job anymore? She didn’t see how. She had insurance, but how much would that cover? She had about four months’ salary in a savings account, which she had a feeling would disappear in a hurry if she couldn’t work, and another sixty thousand or so in a 401(k) that she couldn’t touch for years without paying penalties.
“Do you have any more questions for me right now?” Dr. Ganz typed. “Or would you like to rest?”
Annie had a million questions, but most of them Dr. Ganz couldn’t answer. She tried to narrow down the most important of them. “Have I had any visitors?”
“Several,” Dr. Ganz wrote. “In fact there’s been an officer out in the waiting area the whole time. If you think you’re ready to see people, I can let him know you’re awake.”
“But … I can’t hear.”
Dr. Ganz pointed at the nurse. “She has a lot of pads,” she wrote. “We’ll need to do some testing later on, later today or tomorrow, but for now I want you to rest. You can see a few visitors, but Helen will make sure nobody stays too long.”
“Helen?”
Dr. Ganz smiled and gestured toward the nurse again. “Helen,” she mouthed. Or said out loud. Annie couldn’t tell which.
And that, right there, was the crux of her problem.
A patrol officer Annie didn’t know had been stationed at the hospital to keep an eye on her. Presumably he was one of several, given the length of time she’d been out. After Dr. Ganz and Helen left, Helen reappeared with the officer, who looked in at her, gave a wan smile, and left again.
Thirty-five minutes later Lt. Dale Carson and Detective Errol Hathaway were in her room with her. Each had a pad and a black Sharpie. Carson, lean and dark as seventy percent chocolate, was a heavy smoker who brought the stink of a burning tobacco plantation with him everywhere, and Annie had never been so glad to smell it. It meant she was alive, a condition she didn’t ordinarily associate with hospital rooms.
The last time she had been in a hospital for any extended duration had been when her dad had died, gutshot by a skell on the northeast side of town. Dying had been virtually certain from the start, but he had managed to hang on for three days. She had hardly left the building that whole time. Her last conversation with him had been in a hospital room—not this hospital, not this room—but there was a sameness to them all that made the differences pale.
As usual, it had started with one of his war stories. He had come out of sleep and seen her dozing in a visitor’s chair, a book spread open on her lap. He had started laughing, and the laugh turned into a hacking cough, and that startled her awake. She blinked and closed the book, disturbed by his red, blotchy complexion. “Are you okay, Dad?” she asked.
He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. “Right as rain,” he said weakly. “Don’t I look it?”
“You look like hell.”
“Honesty isn’t always the best policy, Annie. Anyway, reason I was laughing is I saw you snoozing there, and I thought, I hope she doesn’t do that on stakeouts. Buddy of mine fell asleep on a stakeout once, sitting in his unmarked outside an apartment complex. He was supposed to watch the exit, make sure the suspect who was inside stayed inside.”
“But he dozed off?”
“That’s right. I guess the suspect came out, saw him there, figured out what was up. Bernie was a hell of a sleeper, once he got going—his snoring was probably shaking the whole car. So he didn’t wake up when the suspect started spray-painting his car windows. By the time he did come around, the car was completely blacked out, and Bernie said he thought he was going blind at first.” He laughed again, this time managing to do it without coughing or popping any stitches. “Son of a bitch sat there for five minutes, sweating bullets, before he tried to get out of the car and figured out what had happened. Good thing for him the suspect wasn’t a violent type, or Bernie would’ve probably never woken up.”
“Good thing,” Annie agreed.
Her father’s expression changed, the smile flickering away. He wiped his mouth again, as if making sure his smile was gone. “Annie, you got to make me a promise.”
She could tell, by his demeanor and tone, that he was going to start talking about dying again. She didn’t want to hear it. He had brought the subject up several times since he’d been in the hospital, but the doctors still said he had a slender chance and he was a fighter, goddammit, and she wasn’t interested in listening to him talk about giving up.
“I already promised you, Dad. Virgin until married, that’s me.”
He chuckled but wouldn’t be so easily dissuaded this time. “I never gave a shit about that, Annie. Not since you were out of high school. Long as you’re careful.”
“Well, if you’d told me that ten years ago it would have saved me a lot of sneaking around.”
“You never could listen for crap,” he said. “But I want you to listen now.”
Her cell phone went off before he could say any more. “Sorry, Dad,” Annie said, pulling it from her purse. “O’Brien.”
The call was from her lieutenant, telling her about a possible break in a string of check-cashing store robberies she’d been working. She listened, hung up, and turned to her father. “Listen, Dad, I have to run. I’ll be back in a couple of hours, three or four at the most, and we’ll talk about whatever you want to talk about. Okay?”
He started to say something, but the words caught in his throat and he started coughing again, his eyes tearing up, mucus spraying from his nose. She grabbed a tissue, wiped his face, tossed it in the trash. She dropped a glancing kiss on his cheek. “Love you, Dad,” she said before she left his room. “See you later.”
Before she made it back to the hospital, he was gone.
She hadn’t much liked hospitals before that. Ever since, she had hated them with a passion reserved for few things in life. Traffic jams, skells and creeps—especially those who targeted kids—infomercials and American Idol all had made her list at one time or another, and hospitals became the latest entry.
Now here she was, in a room of her own. At least Carson brought some of the outside world in with him, even if it was in the form of stale smoke.
“You saved me,” Annie said. She couldn’t tell if she was talking too loud, as people listening to music with through headphones or earbuds often did, but she felt she probably was. “I was watching daytime TV with closed captioning on. That’s worse punishment than being deaf.”
“Why do you think I never take vacations?” Hathaway scribbled.
“U doing ok?” Carson wrote. His handwriting was neat, but he wrote slowly, and he took shortcuts whenever he could. His reports were the same way. “N E thing u need?”
“That’s a notepad, not a cell phone,” Annie said.
Carson shrugged and wrote something else. When he turned the pad toward her, it said, “I M LA-Z.” Then he flipped back to the previous page, tapped it.
“I don’t know what I need yet,” she said. “I guess my phone would be a good idea, so I can get texts—if they’ll let me use one in here when I’m not on the job. It was in the unmarked. Mostly I need to get out of here. I need my ears back. I doubt they’ll let me drink in here, but I could use one or two of those too.”
“They won’t,” Hathaway wrote. “Their assholes about it.”
“They’re,” Annie said, pointing to his pad. “With an apostrophe.”
Hathaway was a thick guy with the whitest skin Annie had ever seen on a man who had lived in Arizona for more than twenty minutes, and fair hair, short and curly. He stared at her and said what she believed was “What?” She pointed again, but he looked at his pad and didn’t get it.
“Maybe send Keller over to my place,” she said. Nanci Keller was another female homicide detective, and she had bunked at Annie’s for a couple of weeks when pipes had burst in the kitchen of her 1950s ranch house. “Have her bring some underwear, some clothes, pajamas, my robe and my slippers. There’s a Laura Lippman novel beside my bed. And a toothbrush, you know, toiletries. She knows what I need.”
Carson was writing furiously on his pad. In a minute, he turned it over. He had written down the things she had asked for, followed by, “Seriously, O’B. If there’s anything else you need, just ask. Don’t worry about the job. You guys got that scum Fairhaven. I no u were close to Ellis. I’ll let u no when the funeral is, okay?”
Annie’s chest tightened. Her heart started racing—she could hear it in her ears, altering the buzz with each pulse of blood. She recognized the symptoms of fear—not the heart-thumping, adrenaline-soaked fear she’d felt outside Fairhaven’s trailer, that had made beads of sweat gather at her hairline on a cool December day, but something more deep-seated. Closer to her core. She just didn’t know where they had come from. Now that she tried to isolate it, she realized she had been a little afraid since she woke up, but that had been tamped down, like everything else, by the drugs they had her on. It got worse when Carson and the others came in, but now, when the topic of Ryan’s funeral was broached, it reached a level she could no longer ignore.
Was she afraid that Carson knew about them? That might have mattered once, but it didn’t anymore. There were no departmental regs, that she knew of, against having had sex with a co-worker who had since died.
Whatever had caused it, now it gripped her, keeping her on edge through the rest of the brief, awkward conversation. Finally, the men gave her gentle hugs and left her alone.
Almost immediately, the tension bled from her, as if a spigot had been opened and drained it off.
What the hell? she thought. If she had more mood swings like that one, she might have to see a shrink. And she hated the thought of that even more than she hated hospitals.
Annie bit back a yawn, then gave in to the next one. The doctor had told her to rest, anyway. And the daytime TV really was god-awful.
She nestled back into her pillow and closed her eyes.