CHAP. I
The author, John Daniel, is bred a smith under his father. His father’s second marriage. His mother-in-law would debauch him; uses stratagems. Flies from his father’s.
BEING about to commit to writing the transactions of my own life for upwards of seventy years, and therein to give an account of some of the most surprising adventures that ever befell any one man in the universe; I shall not pursue the usual method, of setting out my birth and parentage, with other minute occurrences of my childhood; but shall content myself, with leaving my family in their native obscurity; and shall only declare, that my father Ralph Daniel was a house-smith at Royston in Hertfordshire, and that when I was about fourteen years old, he bound me apprentice to him, with whom I served out my time, and was acknowledged by all his customers, to be a very good proficient in my way, giving a general satisfaction to every one that I worked for; insomuch, that when I came out of my time, I had several offers of sums of money to set me up for myself, and had certainly embraced those proposals, from the great prospect I had of business, but for the respect I bore to my father; who being fully sensible of the prejudice it must have been to him, intreated me to continue as his journeyman for some few years longer, till I might be better practised in my profession, and possibly might meet with something more to my advantage, than I could then expect from so early an appearance in life on my own footing. I therefore entered into articles with him, for remaining in his service three years, at a certain wages, lodging and board, and wrought with great assiduity at his forge.
My father was somewhat in years, being near sixty, and (having lived a widower for eight years) in about six months after I had made my agreement with him, he brought home a young wife, scarce turned of twenty. At her first coming home, (for my father had kept all knowledge of his courtship from me,) I grew very uneasy, and intimated to him, that if I had in the least expected to have lived under a mistress as well as a master, I should never have consented to continue with him for the new term.
My father seemed very sorry for my concern, but assured me, that his new wife should claim no pre-eminence over me, or have any thing to do with me; and withal, prevailed with me to behave civilly and kindly to her, for his sake and I believe he gave her the same caution, with respect to me; for from the first week of her being settled in the family, I could plainly perceive, either that she was an intolerable hypocrite, or that I was her no small favourite; and I could visibly collect, that her civil and obliging treatment of me, gave my father a very sensible pleasure.
My father had been nightly used to smoak his pipe, and drink a cup with some neighbours, who met at a public house adjacent, as constantly as the clock struck eight, and parted, so sure as it had advanced to the hour of ten; and this was his accustomed practice throughout the whole year. As for my own part, I must say, that I was very virtuously inclined, as any young fellow could well be; I had never in my life, to my knowledge, sat a quarter of an hour in a public house, or ever went near one for the sake of the liquor, or any otherways, than just to quench my thirst, and return; my greatest delight centering, in bestowing my whole surplus time, in studying the powers and operations of mechanism, or in devising, or practising upon some mechanical contrivance or other; and I had by me divers little models of great curiosity.
The above exercises being my chief employment after work time, and my father being, as I said before, constantly abroad till ten o’clock, my new mother-in-law spent most of his absence with me, and was daily so lavish in her commendations of my ingenuity and sobriety, till at length, no two could be more familiar, or better pleased with each other’s company than we were : and oh! if my father had but been of my temper, and had loved home as well as myself, how happy, she would say, they might have been! but for a husband, whose business kept him from her all day, never to spend an hour with her till bed-time, made her life sit very heavy and uneasy to her.
It is unaccountable, how by frequent converse, the different sexes insinuate into each other’s good opinion; from whence proceeds a liking, which cannot long endure till it becomes productive of love; for at my mother-in-law’s first marriage, I almost hated but to think of her, and yet by her affability, and engaging behaviour, in six month’s time, she had so far bewitched my affections, that I had almost brought myself to the temper of cuckolding my own father. In short, she had proceeded so far as to offer herself to my embraces.
Her person was so far from being disagreeable, that it was really amiable; and had she not been my father’s wife, I would willingly have made her my own : but I could not condescend so far to her bewitcheries, as to commit an unbecoming act, against so kind a parent: this she perceiving, as we were alone one night, expressed her inclination to me, in stronger terms than at any time before; and having from my answer suspected her disappointment; under pretence of falling into a fit, and of being on that account, excusable for whatever might be the consequence, she threw herself into such an indecent posture, as I shall take no other notice of here, than to assure my reader, it caused me immediately to step out of the room, and call the maid to take care of her; but I had no sooner done it, than she started up, composed herself, and meeting her half way, told her, she did not now want her.
This plain artifice, added to what had passed before between us, put it out of all doubt, how far she would have proceeded, and gave me the utmost disquiet, both on my father’s account and my own; nay, it even drove me from home at all such times as my father was not there, which excited in me a relish for drinking. My head was never free, from the thoughts of what might at some unguarded hour happen from her attempts; especially, as I was but too sensible, that I had not the least disregard to her person, and was only obstructed by a dint of reason from accomplishing her desires; and thinks I, how long reason may continue the mastery of inclination, it is difficult to say, and dangerous to trust to.
I had almost determined to inform my father of it; but how to prove my assertion would be hazardous : If he should believe me, says I, he is undone for his life; if he should discredit me, there are so many ways to enforce her innocence, against my single attestation of the fact, that I may greatly lessen my father’s esteem for me, without opening his own eyes, as to her perfidy.
What must be done? I could not long continue in my then present situation; for home, and that of an evening, as I said, (which was ever the time and place I took most delight in) was now become irksome to me, and my rest on nights was broke in upon, by the concern I suffered each day, as my affairs were then circumstanced.
Whilst these cogitations engrossed almost my whole being, my father going to London one day, to pay for some, and to bespeak other goods, I took care to dine abroad; and so soon as shop was shut in the evening, I went to the alehouse, where I staid till eleven o’clock at night, hoping that my mother-in-law would be in bed before I came home; and upon enquiry, the maid told me, she was so: That news settling my doubts, I retired also to bed, very much composed; condemning myself for my suspicions of her, who I now imagined had laid aside all further thoughts of me, or else she would not have escaped so fair an opportunity of gratifying herself, as my having drank so late, might have been supposed to furnish her with; but I had not been long asleep, before I was disturbed by an hand and arm, which I felt lying cross my body. My surprise at this unexpected appearance encreased proportion-ably, as my wakefulness returned upon me; at last, demanding who was there, I was answered only by a squeeze with the arm that enclasped me; nor could I get any further satisfaction, till turning about, who are you, says I? My mother-in-law, (for I soon guessed who was my bedfellow) replied, can you be at a loss, dear Jacky, to know who it is in all the world that dies for you? At saying this, she taking my right hand in her left, and pressing it to her bosom : mother, says I, (taking hold of her wedding ring,) methinks you should have otherwise disposed of this, and not have brought it hither as a memento to me, how I ought to behave in this case; for can you imagine, that whilst I am in possession of that token, which in the presence of the Almighty has appropriated you by solemn vow to my father, I can be so abandoned, as to interpose to the breach of that union you have engaged to each other, both of persons and affections? No, had you been at your own disposal, I have often reflected on the satisfaction I could have received from your love; but be assured, no gratification of my desires shall ever urge me to so atrocious a crime as you seem inclined to perpetrate with me.
I was then proceeding to reason with her upon the horridness of the fact, and of what we must necessarily think of each other, if ever our merciful Creator should suffer us to enjoy the light again after the commission of such a crime; when perceiving her silent, restless, and feeling about the bolster for somewhat; I had but just time to seise her hand, and thereby gain intelligence of the cause, as she was going to plunge a dagger in my breast; but having her fast, with her right hand in my left, I with my right wrung the instrument from her, and at the same time, could scarce restrain myself from sheathing it in her bowels.
I immediately flung myself out of bed, determined to endure such company no longer; and it being a little moon-light, made a shift to dress myself; (for I had first run to my own door, locked it, and had taken out the key, that she might not escape down before me, where, perhaps, she might have hatched some further plot, to have dispossessed me of my life;} I then represented her own wicked actions, in the most shocking light I could expose them, and told her, that but for the regard I had for my father, and lest I should destroy his future peace I would certainly declare her whole conduct to him : but, says I, that so much villainy may not pass wholly unobserved, I am determined to double lock you in here into my room, from whence I am assured you cannot set forth, without exposing the design of your vile prostitution.
She heard all my charges against her virtue and honour with seeming unconcern, so long as she thought they might yet lie concealed; but she no sooner perceived that I meant to expose her, than she fell into tears; and leaping from the bed, and falling at my feet, implored me, by all the strongest tyes in nature, not to lock her in, to make her the scorn and contempt of her own servant, who I was sensible must be the person to release her; insisting, that as what she had done, was only through an irresistible passion for me, which she was not able to controul, it would be the height of barbarity in me to expose her for it; and at the same time declared, with most bitter imprecations, that if I persisted in it, she would be her own executioner before morning, by some means or other, rather than become a publick ridicule.
Her last argument, I must confess, had the greatest weight with me; for I now became cool enough to consider, that should I by locking her in, occasion her (through despair) to commit any rash deed upon her life, as I should not be found, (for I was determined to quit the country,) whatever should happen to her, would be imputed to my act, and that perhaps, I might in ruining her reputation, bring my own life into danger. However, I seemed to give little heed to her entreaties, persisting in disgracing her at least; till observing her most extravagant in her request for secrecy; I told her, that if she would solemnly swear, that she never would attempt to entrap any other person in like manner as she had me, or on any account be false to my father’s bed, I would keep all that had passed an inviolable secret; and at the same time assuring her, that I had determined to withdraw myself, both from her sight and knowledge, that I might lay her under no further temptations; she fell into the utmost fury : And will you go? Will you leave us, said she? Then what occasion for oaths to bind me? I despise the whole species where you are not to be found, nor can I say, I will not love you; but I will swear, to restrain my passion for you to the narrowest limits possible.
Finding all that I could say would be to little purpose, and wanting to be gone, that I might prosecute my journey to some considerable distance before day-light, I opened my trunk, took out all my money, amounting to about eighteen pounds, my linen, and some few other things, and tying them up in an old frock, I bid her good-bye for ever; begging her, that as she had turned me out of doors a vagabond, she would mend her life, and suffer all her thoughts of love to center in my father.
She ran after me to the chamber door, begging me on her knees, if I had the least regard for her, or could compassionate a distracted wretch, that I would only kiss and forgive her before I went: Upon her pressing her demand so movingly, I told her I would, bidding her rise and compose herself; but offering to salute her, she caught me round the neck, vowing she would never more disjoin her arms, till I had sworn to inform her in whatever part of the earth I should settle.
She clung so close to me, and seemed so resolved, that I was compelled to threaten her destruction, by the dagger I then held in my hands; the terror of which, I was in hopes would have made her desist : But instead of shewing the least fear, she assured me, her only ambition was to fall by my hand, and even begged it of me as a favour. However, after some struggle, I sprang from her, and ran violently down the stairs, left the dagger in the shop, and departed.