Darian looked at the list in front of him. It was never an easy decision, but this batch of recruits had very few clear-cut culls among them.
The council that decided who went and who stayed consisted of Darian, Edmond, Justin, and five Swordmasters who had helped in the training up to this point, including Arvon.
"OK let's start with the one who should be easiest. Tarius?" Darian asked.
"At this very moment I know that Tarius can beat my best," Arvon said. "He holds back out of courtesy to me, because he likes me."
"I agree," Justin said. "When I sparred with him he out-classed me in both speed and style. I admit I had my reservations about him, but he is a fine young man who, in spite of his many differences, tries to fit in."
The other fighters were all in agreement. Edmond was silent.
"Edmond?" Darian asked at length.
Edmond took in a deep breath. "He didn't pass his written exam. He did very well in class; his oral presentation was superb."
"How bad were his scores?" Darian asked, worried.
"Don't tell me we are even thinking of denying Tarius acceptance into the academy because of bad grades!" Arvon said angrily. "He is unequaled in skill with weapons of all kinds. We are fighters; we should be able to fight first."
"We are also arbitrators of justice, and as such we can not be ignorant," Darian said. "How bad were his scores?"
"Bad," Edmond said. "He missed questions he got correct in class. He's not stupid by any stretch of the imagination, but his writing is barely legible. He might even have gotten some of the answers correct if I could have read what he'd written. Actually, I think he's illiterate. I'm sure that he knows the law, and he's most certainly virtuous."
Darian remembered the nights Tarius had been sitting with Jena studying under candlelight. The times he'd seen him under a tree in the courtyard going over the book with Tragon or Harris. If he had just been studying all that time, there was no way he would have failed the test. Edmond was right. Tarius hadn't been studying for the test; he had been learning to read and write.
"If you gave him that same test orally he would pass with flying colors I have no doubt of that," Edmond said. "However a Swordmaster must be able to read."
Darian turned to the servant standing at the door. "Go and fetch Jena."
They all gave him a puzzled look. Darian shrugged and didn't bother to explain himself.
The servant returned with Jena in tow.
"Yes, Father," she said sweeping into the room.
Darian flinched at the sight of her. Her hair was undone, there were no shoes on her feet, and her dress had been pinned up on one side till it was almost indecent. She looked like one of the serving girls from down at the pub instead of a noble's daughter. He stood up and walked to the side of the room with her.
"What's wrong?" Jena asked.
"Have you been teaching Tarius to read?" Darian asked in a whisper.
"I can't say," Jena said looking at her feet.
"That means 'yes.'" Darian shook his head in worry.
"Are they going to kick him out?" Jena asked in a panic. If they cut him, he wouldn't hang around to try again. He'd go back to Kartik, and she'd never see him again, she knew this as well as Darian did. "You can't let them do that, Father," Jena begged in a whisper. "He couldn't read at all when he got here, not at all. He learns quickly, and he's learning more all the time."
Darian nodded, then smiled. "I don't suppose you'd be opposed to tutoring the boy, then?"
She shook her head quickly.
"All right, go on then."
Jena left, and Darian sat back at his place at the table. "Tarius can obviously read and write a little, or he couldn't have answered any of the questions. I have just talked to Jena, and she has said she would be happy to tutor the boy. Does any one have any objections to Tarius's entry if he learns to read better?"
"I have none at all," Edmond said with a smile.
The list didn't get any easier as they went on. Finally, there was only one more spot, and two candidates left—Tragon and Derek.
"Derek is the better fighter, there can be no doubt about that," Arvon said and the other fighters all agreed.
"However Tragon had a perfect score on his written exam. The only perfect score in this batch I might add, while Derek's scores were barely passing," Edmond said. "In fact, Derek's scores were not much better than Tarius's, and as we all now know, Tarius is just learning to read."
"Derek has the will to fight and the strength," one of the men said. "I don't think Tragon has either. I think he's here because he feels he must be here, not because he wants to fight."
"I agree," Darian said.
"Derek is ill mannered, and we already have the likes of Gudgin to deal with," Justin said. He had voted against Gudgin and lost. He hoped that they would look at their past mistake and not repeat it this year. Justin knew the importance of unity among the Swordmasters. It was why he had originally objected to Tarius, and it was why he objected to Derek now. He had admitted he had been wrong about Tarius, and now he hoped that Darian would admit he was wrong about Derek.
"Gudgin has calmed, and in time so will Derek," Darian said.
"But Tragon is already a gentleman, and not without skill. He is getting better, and he will continue to improve," Arvon said. "There is merit in what Justin says. We can teach a man to be a better fighter, but how can we teach him to be a better man if he doesn't have the right metal to begin with?"
The discussion went on for what seemed to Darian to be hours. Surprisingly, it was Edmond who finished the controversy.
"It seems to me that the choice is simple. We will be pairing these men off into teams. As has already been stated, Derek has trouble getting along with others. We currently have a man before us who is way ahead of his brothers academically, but weak in the sword. We have another who out classes all with his sword, but who failed the written part of the test. Am I the only one who sees that by pairing these two men together we will have the most perfect team of Swordmasters to ever ride for the king?"
All agreed, and Tragon was admitted into the academy.
* * *
They watched as the number of recruits in the room went from twenty-five to fifteen. They said good-bye to the friends they would miss, and encouraged them to try again, but none of them dared to show how glad they were not to be cut until the others were gone.
It was Burgis who let out the first scream of triumph. This had been his fourth attempt at getting in, and he could not contain his excitement. After Burgis it was perhaps Tragon who celebrated the loudest.
Tarius lay back on her bunk and watched them all as they whooped and hollered. She smiled and relaxed for the first time since she had taken that damned test, but she didn't feel like celebrating. She felt sorry for the ones who didn't make it, even for Derek who was a big, stupid jerk. She wasn't even supposed to be there; she was lying to the world. She had taken the place of someone who did belong there. She comforted her guilty conscience by reminding herself of how stupid their rules for admittance were.
After a few minutes they decided to go in to town and find a pub they could terrorize.
"Come on, go with us," Tragon pleaded, pulling at her arm. "I owe my good fortune to your good teaching and your help. Please come! I'll buy you a drink. Hell! I'll buy you a hundred," he said throwing his hands in the air and spinning around.
Tarius laughed. "If it's all the same to you, I'll pass. Maybe some other time, though."
"I'll hold you to that," Tragon promised.
Tarius watched them go feeling sorry for whatever pub they landed in that night. Then she got up and went to her locker. She pulled out her own clothes, wiping the mold off the leather. She looked around quickly to make sure she was alone, and then changed. She slung her sword over her back and walked out into the courtyard. She would go into the woods tonight. She took in a deep breath enjoying the smell of the dirty leather garments. She had missed the feel and the smell of them, the dark hiding her in the night. She moved on quietly, sneaking around everyone she saw. She was good at this—at not being seen. It was a game she had played for years. She saw Darian suddenly step out of his house, so she jumped and rolled into cover, coming up in a crouching position with sword in hand, just because it was part of the game.
"Are we under attack?" a voice asked quietly from behind her. She pivoted quickly and saw Jena standing there. Jena stooped to pick up some strawberries she had dropped out of her skirt, smiling broadly at Tarius saying all too clearly that she knew exactly what Tarius had been doing.
Tarius sheathed her sword and moved to help Jena pick up the berries. "I was . . . I was . . . I'm sorry I startled you."
"I figured I'd better say something quick before I startled you," Jena said.
They reached for the same berry, and their hands touched. Their eyes locked for just a moment, and then Tarius looked away and moved her hand. When all the berries had been picked up, Tarius got straight up in one fluid motion and put down her hand to help Jena to her feet. Jena took it willingly and held it tight long after Tarius had helped her up. She purposely caught and held Tarius's gaze.
"I'm glad you're staying . . ."
"Your father tells me I am to study my reading and writing. That you have once again volunteered to help me. I will be forever in your debt," Tarius said, gently trying to take her hand back. Jena wasn't letting go.
"Is it true what they say?" Jena asked looking at the missing finger.
"That my finger is in the hilt of my sword?"
"Is it?" Jena asked.
"Yes, it is," Tarius said.
Jena made a face. "Did you cut it off yourself?"
Tarius nodded simply.
"You know, of course, that's insane. Don't you?" Jena asked with a smile.
"So I've been told."
Jena kissed Tarius's cheek and finally let go of her hand. Then, suddenly shy, she turned to walk quickly away. At the steps to the kitchen she turned. "Do me a favor, won't you?"
"Anything you ask," Tarius said.
"Don't whack anything else off." She ran inside.
Tarius frowned hard and started walking in the opposite direction. "Well, there isn't much fear of that as I've got nothing to whack off," Tarius mumbled under her breath.
She liked Jena because Jena didn't give a damn what everybody else thought. She wore what she felt like wearing, or didn't wear it as the case might be. She spoke even when she wasn't spoken to. She laughed freely and sincerely, and she was beautiful in a way that few women were. For one thing, she still had all her teeth. Her long hair was almost always flying wildly about her head, and her blue eyes shone with pure mischief.
She could fall in love with Jena, and it was obvious that Jena was developing feelings for Tarius. There was only one small problem. Jena thought she was falling in love with a man. Tarius was a lot of things, but a man wasn't one of them.
She felt even more guilt than she had earlier. The Swordmasters' guild deserved her deception because they had stupid rules, but Jena didn't deserve it. Tarius supposed she could do things to purposely make Jena hate her. The problem was she didn't really want to. She enjoyed being lavished with Jena's attention. It was her curse that she had this thing for Jethrik women. No doubt because Jethrik women would reject her, when Kartik women would and had fought over her.
It was all crazy. Her affection for Jena could ruin everything she had worked so hard for. It could do nothing but hurt Jena and would only make Tarius crazy. Yet she was walking around on air because Jena had kissed her cheek.
All proof that what everyone says about me is true. I am crazy.
She took a run at the wall, cleared it, landed on the other side and ran off into the night.
* * *
Arvon looked at Tarius. He liked him. Mostly, he had to admit, because he was just so damned pretty. Arvon was sure the boy was every bit as queer as he was, and he couldn't help but feel attracted to him. Still, right now the little shit was pissing him off. He was holding back as if Arvon couldn't handle everything he had in him. Arvon was pretty sure the boy was right, but he still wanted a chance to try.
"Is that all you got, pretty boy?" Arvon chided, trying to make Tarius angry. Tarius's fighting didn't change, so Arvon threw a blow harder than was usual in practice. It barreled its way through Tarius's defenses and connected just above the eyebrow opening Tarius's head. Tarius stepped back and put a hand to his forehead, wiping the blood away.
"You fight like a girl!" Arvon screamed at him before he noticed how badly Tarius was bleeding. He hadn't meant to really hurt the boy. He started to call for help, but suddenly Tarius was all over him, and it was all he could do to defend his head as the practice blade slapped into him again and again and again. Next thing he knew, he was on the ground, his head spinning, his blade gone, and Tarius was pounding him in the face with his fists.
"Never say that again! Never say I fight like a girl! My mother was a swordswoman, and she could whip your queer butt. So don't say it like it's bad!"
It took three men to haul the enraged boy off of him. Arvon's nose and mouth were bleeding, his head was spinning, and he didn't know how much of the blood was his and how much was Tarius's. One thing was for damn sure; you didn't want to make the little shithead mad. There was something else he knew without even thinking about it. If Tarius hadn't been restraining himself, he, Arvon, would be dead. If Tarius wanted you to be dead, you would be. The boy was a killer by nature.
Medics were called in to attend to both of them, and Arvon noticed with self-loathing that they were putting stitches in Tarius's head. He looked at his practice sword, thinking that a padded weapon—even thrown too hard—shouldn't have done that, and noticed that the padding had ripped away leaving bare wood. He should have checked for that before he geared up. He felt like a total heel, especially since it was Tarius who was getting reprimanded by Darian.
"What the hell were you thinking!" Darian screamed at Tarius.
"You heard him. He purposely provoked me," Tarius defended. He didn't even flinch as they stitched him.
"He was testing you. You might have killed him," Darian scolded.
Tarius looked at him then, and the look on his face told Arvon that he was truly ashamed of what he had done. Arvon could only imagine what his face must look like.
"I'm . . . I'm very sorry, Master Arvon," Tarius said.
Arvon nodded back, angering the medics who were trying to attend him. "It was my fault, Tarius, and I who should apologize. First for my callous words, and second for my blade, which I see only now was unpadded and has inflicted damage on the most beautiful face in the academy."
"And I'm sorry I called you queer."
"That's quite all right; I am quite queer," Arvon said, and laughed in spite of the fact it hurt.
When they were all patched up they stood up, met each other in the middle of the practice ring, and hugged.
* * *
Arvon was sent off to recover for the day, but that was not to be Tarius's fate. Master Darian walked over and handed him a fresh practice blade. He had one in his own hand. Darian answered the question on Tarius's face.
"Let's see how you fare against the old man. And let me warn you, if you molly-coddle me the way you have been Arvon, or if I get the slightest feeling that you are patronizing me, I won't call you names. I'll kick your ass."
Darian had longed to spar with the boy ever since he arrived. Tarius didn't disappoint him. Darian was a worthy opponent for the youth, but by no means an equal one. Tricks he used to get through the boy's defenses only worked once. Tarius had moves Darian had never seen before. Had he not been hurt, Darian doubted he could have gotten him as many times as he did.
Finally, when they were both exhausted Darian held up his hands. "Enough! You wear me thin." He walked up to Tarius. "Do not let your anger rule your blade," he said in a raspy whisper as he tried to catch his breath. "I know there is great anger inside you, and you have a right to be angry, but that anger will not serve you in battle."
Tarius nodded silently. "I'm very sorry. Sorry that I hit Arvon. Sorry if I have disgraced you."
Darian laughed. "You don't by any chance think that's the first time in the history of the academy that a sparring match has turned into a real brawl, do you? You don't put men together and have them fight without it occasionally getting personal."
Tarius nodded.
"Go get cleaned up and go to dinner."
* * *
Tragon sat down across from Tarius. "That was some fight! What did he say to you?" Tragon asked, starting to eat even before Tarius could answer him.
"He said I fought like a girl," Tarius said picking at the food on her plate.
"Is that all? Everyone's been saying he made a pass at you."
As if to add credence to Tragon's statement, Gudgin and some of his buddies walked up to the table.
"You and Arvon have a lovers spat today?" Gudgin teased.
"Jealous because you want my ass all to yourself, Gudgin?" Tarius spat back, not looking up from her plate.
Tragon laughed in spite of his best efforts, spitting potatoes back into his plate.
"Why, I ought to kick your little queer ass!" Gudgin said.
Tarius jumped to her feet. "Maybe you'd like to try." Today she was just tired of it all. Tired of being tested by every dog and his brother. Let all the bastards who wanted to, come and try to take a piece out of her. Let it be done and over with once and for all.
"Wow! What the hell has he been eating?" Tragon mumbled, picking up his plate and quickly moving out of the way.
* * *
Jena had come to the mess hall looking for Tarius, having heard from her father of his injury. She had tried to stay away, but she just couldn't. She had to make sure Tarius was all right.
As she walked in she saw Gudgin gearing up to hit Tarius in the face. "Come on, butt monkey, let's see what you have!"
Jena knew what butt monkey meant, and she took immediate offense. She had seen the way Tarius looked at her. It was obvious that Tarius liked girls.
She walked up and took hold of Tarius's arm. She looked at the cut above his eye and the growing purple ring, then she glared at Gudgin with real hate. She let go of Tarius and poked Gudgin in the chest with her finger.
"Oh, big man! Fight with him when he's already hurt. You disgusting pig!"
"Leave me be! This is between we men. If Tarius can be counted as a real man."
Tarius gently took hold of Jena's arm and pulled her back to him and away from Gudgin. "You watch how you talk to her, or I'll spit you," Tarius hissed.
"Why, does she help you with your knitting?" Gudgin taunted.
"I'll . . . " Tarius started to move forward and Jena stepped in front of him. She wrapped her arms around Tarius's neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Tarius kissed her back and she felt like her whole body was on fire.
Jena pulled back from him with more than a little effort and said in all the voice she could find. "Now, you can stay here and fight with this idiot, or you can come with me." She took hold of Tarius's hand and started leading him towards the door. Tarius followed her without argument. Jena turned in the doorway and glared back at Gudgin.
"Now who's a big ole butt monkey?"
They disappeared to the wolf-whistles of the entire room.
Gudgin picked his jaw up off the floor, and he and his friends went back to their seats.
Darian and Justin, having been informed by one of the servants as to what was going on, ran in just moments too late. Everyone tried to act as if nothing had happened.
"Harris!" Darian screamed.
The boy ran over obediently.
"What happened?"
Harris filled him in . . . "Then she kissed him, and they left together."
Darian looked at Justin. "You deal with Gudgin however you see fit. I'll go find Tarius and my daughter."
* * *
Jena dragged Tarius into the courtyard.
"You didn't have to come save me, you know," Tarius said. "I can take care of myself. I'm certainly not afraid of Gudgin."
"I know," Jena said. She stopped walking and turned to face Tarius. "You like me, don't you?"
Tarius swallowed hard and nodded her head silently.
Jena wrapped her arms around Tarius's neck and kissed her again.
Tarius didn't fight it. She wrapped her arms around Jena and pulled her closer. She ran her hands up and down Jena's back as they kissed. It felt good to have a woman in her arms again. It felt good to touch Jena.
Suddenly reality kicked in, and she pushed Jena away. "I . . . I can't. We shouldn't be doing this. I'm ruining your reputation. I have respect for you and for your father. This is wrong, I am not even of your country."
"I don't care about that, and my dear father would like nothing better than for you and I to marry and have lots of little sword babies," Jena said with a smile. She looked shyly away, then turned back and looked deep into Tarius's eyes. "Tarius, I love you."
The word echoed in her head, causing instant and intense pain. She loved Tarius, but she didn't love her. Jena loved this person that Tarius pretended to be. She could never love the person that she was. It hurt. It hurt not to be able to tell her the truth and hear her say that it didn't matter. It hurt not to be able to give Jena what she needed. But before she knew what she was doing, she had spoken from her heart instead of her head.
"I love you, too," Tarius said softly. Jena moved to hold her again, and Tarius grabbed her hands. "But it won't work. Can't you see that?"
Jena shook her head wildly. "No! I love you, and you say you love me. What could stop us from being together?"
"More than you can imagine. I am not the man you think I am, Jena . . . ."
She would never know whether she would have told Jena the truth or not in that moment, because that was when Darian had found them.
"Would you spoil my daughter's good name then, Tarius?" Darian boomed accusingly.
"In no way, sir," Tarius said.
"Then get back to the barracks. Perhaps the hit you took on your head has made you temporarily mad. We will talk of all this in the morning."
"Yes, sir," Tarius looked at Jena once more and then left at almost a run.
* * *
"What were you thinking! Kissing him . . . and in the mess hall in front of all the swordsmen for the gods' sake!" Darian scolded. "I think maybe you need to go back to you aunt's house for a while . . ."
"Don't send me away from him, Father. I love Tarius, and I believe he loves me."
"If that's the truth, then a little time apart won't hurt anything," Darian said with a smile. He hooked his daughter's arm in his and started leading her back towards their house.
"You do like him don't you, Father?"
"He is like the son I never had, but if you make yourself too available to him, you will lose him," Darian warned.
* * *
Tarius stared at the ceiling in the dark. It was all too much. Maybe she should just leave. Leave tonight; get the hell away from it all. Every day the web of lies became more complex, and every day it was hurting more people. Most of all the lies were hurting her.
Jena loved her; she loved Jena. It was an impossible situation.
She didn't belong here. She belonged with her pack. But the bloody Amalites had killed her pack, and the few who were left had scattered across the Kartik. She was alone. Forced into a world that neither wanted nor understood her.
In the Kartik, same sex couples were commonplace. In a Katabull pack there were more same sex couples than there were heterosexual ones. They procreated through mixed pairing, and no one even thought about it. It was the way life was. But the packs had scattered, and the Katabull were spread out across the island of Kartik. Soon there would be none of their kind left in the world, and the Amalites would have done what they set out to do concerning the Katabull.
She got up, careful not to wake the others, and snuck out of the bunkhouse. She ran the length of the courtyard, once again jumped the fence and made off into the woods. She headed for the creek.
* * *
Tragon had known for weeks now that his friend had a habit of late night excursions that sometimes didn't end till dawn. He had the feeling that Tarius did something on these excursions that made him a better swordsman. A secret ritual maybe. Tragon wanted to be a better swordsman. Obviously, the way to do that was to copy Tarius. If Tarius was doing some magic ritual that was helping him, then Tragon wanted to do the same ritual.
Tonight was the perfect night to follow his friend, as both moons were full and would give him plenty of light, but he soon found that he could not keep up with Tarius. Fortunately, he was a good tracker; his father said he was one of the best. He found Tarius's trail easily because he was doing nothing to cover it. It wasn't long before he heard a noise up ahead, and he quickly dove into a bush scratching his face and hands in the process. He peered through the bush and could see Tarius some fifty feet ahead. He was standing on a rock beside the creek.
Quietly, Tragon moved closer. He knew he had to be careful not to get caught because whatever Tarius did out here was very private. If it weren't, Tragon would surely have been invited along. Tarius didn't want anyone to know his secret, so if he was going to learn what that secret was, he was going to have to be very careful and very quiet. He managed to get within twenty feet of Tarius without detection. Apparently the sound of the water was concealing any noise that Tragon was making.
The creekbed here was one large slab of rock. Erosion of the weaker strata had left a hole about the size of a small cart and about as deep in the rock. It was constantly filled with clear, clean water.
Tarius started to undress.
Ah! Some sort of cleansing ritual, Tragon thought.
Tarius took off his shirt, and underneath he was wrapped in a white cloth.
Ah! Some sort of magic cloth.
As the last of the cloth dropped away, Tragon had to bite down on his tongue to keep from screaming out. The best swordsman in the guild was not a man at all! It didn't make any sense. Was this the secret of Tarius's great prowess, that he was a she?
Maybe he just has over-developed breasts; they aren't very big. I've heard of men having breasts before. It would be pretty embarrassing. If I had them, I'd tie them up, too . . .
Then the pants came off, and it was obvious that Tarius was not now—nor had she ever been—a man. And not only was Tarius a girl, but she was a girl with a very nice body. She got into the water, which came up to her neck, and just soaked. No doubt trying to relieve the pain of the beating she'd taken that day.
I've slept by her every night; how could she fool me? How could she fool the whole kingdom? Because no one expects a woman to be any good with a sword. What do I do now? Tell Darian? They'd kill her; she's beaten them all. Hell, she kissed Darian's daughter! They'd definitely kill her—if they could, which I doubt . . .
She crawled out of the water then and lay flat on the rock. The weather was warm, and no doubt the rock felt warm compared to the cold water she'd been soaking in. Then it happened. At first he thought it was a trick of the light and he blinked twice to clear his vision. She was changing. The skin on her forehead and shoulders was thickening. She moved into a sitting position, and he could see that her jaw had thickened as well. Her canines were protruding. He muffled a gasp, and her head swung to face him. Dark brown eyes with elongated, cat-like pupils stared at him only a minute, and then the beast was on its feet and coming for him.
He jumped up and ran. He could hear it growling and the deep huffing of its breath as it pursued him, then something jumped on his back and he was going down. Going down beneath something that weighed a good twenty pounds more than Tarius.
The creature spun him around, and as he looked into the eyes of the creature, he was sure he was about to meet his brothers.
"What the hell have you done?" the creature cried in agony.
The voice was if possible even more rasping, but it was still Tarius's voice.
The creature shook him like a child might shake a rag doll. "What the hell have you done?" it asked again. Although it was more an accusation than a question.
"I followed you. I wanted to know why you were such a good fighter. I thought that you were coming to do some magic ritual. I had no idea . . ." He trailed off, afraid to speak the words.
"That I was Katabull, or that I was female?"
"Neither." Tragon realized he must sound as scared as he was. He also realized he had wet himself. No sense, he decided, in playing the hero. "Tarius, if you understand me, please, please . . . Don't eat me."
The beast smiled at him then, and he saw his friend in the beast's features. "You should be so lucky." She got off of him and sat on the ground beside him. She made a face, moved and pulled a twig from her seat. "What the hell am I going to do with you?"
He started to crawl away. She let him move about three feet and then grabbed his leg and pulled him back easily.
"You know everything about me. You could get me thrown out of the academy, perhaps even killed."
Tragon sat up beside the beast. "Why . . . why would you want to be in the academy? Wouldn't you rather be with your own people?"
"Don't you think I would be if I could? My people are scattered in every land now. My own pack is mostly gone, killed by the Amalites. That is why I want to join you. To destroy them before they can do to other peoples what they have done to mine. Your people feared us, you made us outcasts, but at least you didn't hunt us and kill us. At least you accepted our right to exist. The Amalites would deny all but their own kind the right to even live. If your rules weren't so stupid, I wouldn't have had to lie to anyone, and maybe Jena would have fallen in love with me for who I am and not who she thinks I am."
"So you really don't like men the way they were teasing you about tonight, you do like girls but you're a girl, so that means your still queer as Arvon," Tragon said in a confused tone.
"Thank you, Tragon, that was very helpful," Tarius said.
"So, are you going to kill me then?" Tragon asked carefully.
Tarius looked at him through animal-like eyes. "Are you going to tell on me?"
Tragon thought about it only a moment. "No. I wanted to learn your secret; it's obvious now that it's not something I can cash in on. However, there is talk that they plan to pair us together when we go out into the field. Since I don't like pain, or even the thought of death, how stupid would I be to turn down the chance of riding with the Katabull? I won't even have to get sweaty unless I just want to."
"Good." Tarius stood up and went to retrieve her clothes and sword.
Tragon followed her, watching her dress.
"Doesn't that hurt?" he asked of the way she was wrapping her breasts.
"Well, it certainly doesn't feel good," Tarius said. "Of course I'll have to tighten it after I change back."
"Couldn't you change back now? You're kind of . . . Well, scary this way."
Tarius smiled at him then, a very scary, toothy smile indeed. "Can't. Once I transform all the way I have to eat raw flesh or blood before I can change back."
"Oh! Isn't that lovely? If you don't mind, I'll just head back now."
He watched as the creature ran off into the night. It was a lot to keep quiet about, but his silence would mean he lived, and if he talked . . . Well, Tarius would probably kill him first. If someone else caught her, let them expose her. It wasn't going to be him. How did it serve him? It didn't, and he wasn't in the habit of doing things that might get him killed if there was nothing in it for him.