Chapter Five
THE HORROR OF
THE INSECT NATION
X X X
It took Daniel and Tina some time to walk back across the Common, because every step hurt. As Hydes they were used to soaking up punishment and then bouncing right back, but it had been a really hard night. Daniel was starting to wonder if Dr. Jekyll’s marvelous Elixir had its limits. He’d mopped most of the blood from his face and Tina’s, but the exhaustion felt like it was there for the duration. Their clothes had survived intact in the copse, but bloodstains were already starting to appear, here and there. All in all, a high price to pay for killing one alien. Tina leaned heavily on Daniel as they made their way slowly along the gravel path, and Daniel was quietly grateful there was no one around to see the state they were in. His pride would have been hurt, if everything else hadn’t hurt worse. He felt like he’d been hung out to dry and then beaten with sticks, while Tina looked like she’d been tossed off a mountain and then had rocks thrown at her. She wasn’t complaining, and that worried Daniel the most. It wasn’t like her.
They finally trudged through the open Victorian gates, and Daniel half carried Tina to his car. It was a sign of just how tired she was, that she didn’t object to his help. He tucked her into the passenger seat, and she just sat slumped bonelessly with her head hanging down. Daniel settled himself carefully behind the steering wheel, trying not to wince as every movement sent stabs of pain racing through him. He sat for a while, getting his breath back, and finally managed a small smile for Tina.
“You look as bad as I feel,” he said, struggling to keep his voice light.
“Then you must feel really bad,” said Tina, not raising her head. “I wish that Martian was still alive, so I could kill it all over again.”
“Good thing we heal fast,” said Daniel.
“Not fast enough,” said Tina. “Drive this piece of junk to the nearest bar. I feel a real need to get outside of a whole bunch of drinks.”
“Good plan,” said Daniel.
His phone rang. Daniel took it out and stared at it.
“Well it’s obviously not me,” said Tina. “Aren’t you going to answer it?”
“I don’t know,” said Daniel. “I’m thinking about it. There’s no way this is going to be good news.”
“When is it ever?” said Tina.
Daniel growled at his phone. “Yes?”
“This is Patricia. Your armorer.”
“I hadn’t forgotten,” said Daniel. “How did you get this number?”
“I’m the armorer. I know everything.”
“That isn’t as reassuring an answer as you seem to think,” said Daniel.
Patricia was already talking over him. “You need to return to Jekyll & Hyde Inc. immediately. I have important information for you.”
She terminated the call before Daniel could even start to tell her how he and Tina had killed a Martian and blown up its base. Tina raised her head just enough to shoot him an accusing glance as he put his phone away.
“Are we really going to jump to do her bidding, every time she gives us an order?”
“Do you know where to look for the next alien base?” said Daniel.
Tina scowled. “Not as such. Not yet.”
“Then we need to talk with Patricia,” said Daniel.
Tina started to shake her head, and then stopped because it hurt too much. “She’ll look at us. And make comments.”
“By the time we get back, we’ll look like Hydes again.”
“God, I hope so,” said Tina. “The only way I could feel worse is if I was twins.”
“We won,” said Daniel. “And that is all that matters.”
“You know,” said Tina, “there will come a time when we won’t need Patricia.”
“You see?” said Daniel. “Something to look forward to.”
“Drive,” said Tina.
Daniel made his way carefully through the nighttime streets, giving a wide berth to whatever traffic dared to share a road with him. Not because he’d developed a new respect for the traffic laws, but because he was feeling so fragile he didn’t feel up to any sudden changes in direction. He did still ignore the traffic lights, because stopping and starting took too much out of him. Tina remained slumped in her seat, making low unhappy noises every time Daniel changed gear.
He finally eased the police car to a halt outside the Jekyll & Hyde Inc. building, and turned off the engine with a sense of relief. There had been times when he’d wondered if he’d make it this far. He had to yell at Tina to wake her up, and then they both took their time getting out of the car, while being careful not to comment on each other’s groans and bad language. Tina glowered at the car, and sniffed loudly.
“I can’t believe we drove halfway across London in a stolen police car. We couldn’t have attracted more attention if you’d chosen a shocking pink Rolls Royce.”
“That is next on my list,” said Daniel. “I know you’ve always wanted one.”
Tina smiled briefly. “Lady Penelope rules.”
“I loved the Thunderbirds show too; but I am not wearing a chauffeur’s outfit,” said Daniel.
“I’ll let you wear the peaked cap in bed,” said Tina.
They put their backs to the car so they could lean on it for support, and looked the building over. All the fires had gone out, apparently without any assistance from the fire brigade, but smoke was still drifting up from what remained of the roof. There wasn’t a light on anywhere, least of all in the shattered-glass, broken-doored lobby—which couldn’t have shouted There’s no one here! any louder if someone had given it a megaphone.
“Nobody home, and no one to put the kettle on,” said Daniel. “I thought Patricia would at least have the decency to show up and welcome us back. Are we going to have to climb that bloody rope ladder into the armory again?”
Tina sighed, in an I’m not exasperated, just quietly disappointed sort of way, and pointed a reasonably steady finger at a sign taped to the front door. Daniel leaned in for a closer look, winced as his back creaked loudly, and read the neatly handwritten words Jekyll & Hyde Inc. Has Moved to New Premises. Three Doors Down, to Your Right.
“We’ve moved?” said Daniel.
“Apparently,” said Tina. “Quick work, given that we haven’t been gone ten minutes.”
“Our new armorer is starting to get on my nerves,” said Daniel. “Just how efficient can someone be, before they start feeling creepy?”
“I am getting extremely tired of her dragging us around on a leash,” said Tina.
“But she could still be very useful to us,” said Daniel.
Tina glowered at him. “Do you have to be so reasonable?”
“We need someone to run the organization,” said Daniel. “Someone with people skills. Unless you want to deal with all the day-to-day problems?”
“I’d rather stab myself in the eye with a chain saw,” said Tina. “I didn’t become a Hyde to sit behind a desk and be reasonable to people who haven’t got the sense to sort things out for themselves.”
“I’ll take that as a no,” said Daniel. “And since I feel even less qualified than you to hold the position, let’s just be grateful that Patricia volunteered.”
“Don’t you even hint to her we feel that way,” said Tina.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” said Daniel. “Come on, let’s go see what the new Jekyll & Hyde Inc. building looks like. Maybe there’ll be bunting.”
Tina sighed. “Don’t try to make me smile. I don’t feel strong enough.”
They set off down the street, leaning on each other just a little, for company as much as support. Daniel counted off the doors until finally they found themselves in front of an old-fashioned business building with the usual marble and frosted-glass exterior. Very like the one they’d left behind, except that here lights blazed from every window. A signwriter in paint-smeared dungarees was kneeling in front of the main door, carefully applying the name Jekyll & Hyde Inc. in tasteful gold-leaf lettering. Daniel and Tina stared at the half-finished sign until the signwriter became uncomfortable enough to acknowledge their presence.
“You won’t get better for the money, you know. That’s craftsmanship, that is. You can’t hurry craftsmanship.”
“Get on with it,” said Tina.
The signwriter quickly returned his attention to the lettering.
“It’s a bit up front, isn’t it?” Daniel said critically. “Do we really want everyone to know our business, and where to find us? Particularly after tonight’s unexpected visitors.”
“I like it,” said Tina. “It sends a message: We’re back, despite everything that’s been thrown at us. It also tells everyone that even blowing up a building isn’t enough to slow us down.”
Daniel called up his inner reserves, straightened his back and lifted his chin, and headed straight for the door, with Tina stepping it out at his side as though this was just another night. The signwriter scrambled to get out of their way. Daniel slammed the door open and strode into the lobby, while Tina snarled around her like an attack dog with attitude. The wide-open space was packed with people hurrying back and forth, and doing everything they could to give the impression that they hadn’t noticed the arrival of two battered and bloodstained Hydes.
Daniel watched interestedly as people pushed stylish new furniture into position, or hung tasteful art prints on the walls, or fussed over the very impressive new reception desk. Everything today’s smart new business needed, to make a good first impression. There was a sense of worker bees buzzing around a new hive, making sure everything was just right.
Daniel was sure he recognized some of the employees as having worked for the old organization, under Edward Hyde—until he and Tina had no choice but to kick their arses and scatter them sobbing to the four winds. Daniel was amazed Patricia had been able to track them down so quickly, never mind lure them back to work.
And then everyone bustling away before him seemed to suddenly fall back, revealing Patricia holding court at the rear of the lobby. Tall and stately in her outfit of basic black, she seemed perfectly cool and serene, and apparently unmoved by having to deal with a sea of troubles. People kept running up to her with questions, requests, and important pieces of paperwork, and she handled them all like a dominatrix debating whether or not to withhold the whip. Daniel and Tina exchanged a glance, and headed straight for her.
The few employees still in their way immediately discovered pressing reasons to be somewhere else, but Patricia didn’t even glance at the Hydes until they planted themselves right in front of her. Daniel was pretty sure Patricia had known exactly where they were from the moment they’d entered the lobby, but she still took her own sweet time before deciding to acknowledge them. She looked Daniel and Tina over like a headmistress trying to decide which punishment would be most appropriate, and Daniel glared right back at her, to make it clear he really wasn’t in the mood. Tina growled.
“Well, well, look what the night dragged in,” said Patricia, entirely unmoved. “Who the hell happened to you?”
“We’ve been working,” said Daniel.
“Right,” said Tina. “Martians nil, Hydes won.”
Patricia just nodded, as though no other outcome had crossed her mind.
“Reports have been coming in from Horse Leigh Common,” she said, “concerning massive underground explosions, traumatized security officers running weeping for the horizon, and a really big hole in the ground.”
“It made the news already?” said Daniel.
“I have my own sources,” said Patricia. “It sounds like you did a good job. In your own highly destructive way.”
“There used to be a Martian base,” said Daniel. “Now there isn’t. What more do you want?”
“An assurance that none of the Martians made it out alive,” said Patricia. “I’d hate to have to send you back, to mop up any survivors.”
“There was only the one Martian,” said Tina. “I hit it a lot, and Daniel jumped on it. The Martian was very thoroughly dead, before we blew the place up.”
Daniel nodded. “I could have brought you its eye back as proof, if you’d said.”
Patricia shook her head. “You need to get back to work immediately. Time is not on our side.”
Daniel folded his arms and gave her his best I’m not going anywhere look. “A thank-you would be nice.”
“We are not going after any more aliens until we’ve had a serious time-out,” Tina said firmly. “And just possibly a complete change of blood, followed by a whole bunch of drinks with an Adrenalin chaser.”
Patricia nodded slowly. “I suppose we can’t have you going around looking like that.”
“Like what?” Daniel said ominously.
“The clothes will do,” said Patricia. “The occasional bloodstain comes as standard, where Hydes are concerned. But you both look like you’re running on fumes, and could use a really good pick-me-up.” She reached inside her jacket and produced a large pressure-spray hypo. “This is the good stuff, guaranteed to meet all your current health needs. It will turbo-charge your immune system, repair all damage down to the cellular level, put the bounce back in your step and a twinkle in your eye. Lean forward and bare your necks.”
Daniel and Tina just looked at her. Patricia raised an eyebrow.
“Is there a problem?”
“Tina and I have trust issues, when it comes to allowing unknown substances into our bodies,” said Daniel.
“Right,” said Tina. “Let’s see you shoot some of that shit into your own neck first.”
Patricia sighed loudly, like a busy mother being forced to deal with unreasonably recalcitrant children, and then jammed the hypo against her neck. There was a quiet sigh as the hypo did its business, and then the armorer pulled it away and looked meaningfully at Daniel and Tina. They kept her waiting for a moment, ostensibly looking for side effects but actually just to make a point, and then bared their necks. Daniel did his best not to flinch, even though it felt like being blasted with freezing cold birdshot. Tina just took it in her stride. She’d indulged in much worse in her time.
And then both Hydes stood up straight so suddenly their spines cracked, and grinned broadly as all their pain and fatigue vanished in a moment. Daniel laughed out loud, grabbed Tina by the hips, and threw her so high into the air the top of her head brushed against the ceiling. She whooped loudly as she fell back, and threw her arms around Daniel. She bent him over in a full dip, and kissed him resoundingly before planting him back on his feet. Some of the staff applauded.
“We’re back!” Daniel said loudly.
“Let all the worlds there are beware!” said Tina.
Daniel looked at Patricia. “What the hell did you just give us?”
“My very own personal blend of herbs and spices,” said the armorer. “Absolutely guaranteed to jump-start your well-being. Maybe next time you’ll trust me, when I tell you I have your best interests at heart.”
“I wouldn’t put money on it,” said Daniel.
Tina grinned. “What he said. Only with even more cynicism.”
Daniel looked round at the staff, who were busy being busy again.
“How did you persuade all these people to come back?”
“Doubled their wages, gave them stock in the company, and promised to kick their arses if they didn’t,” said Patricia.
Tina nodded. “That would do it.”
“I couldn’t help noticing that they seem as intimidated by you as they were by Edward,” said Daniel. “I am not a big fan of bullying in the workplace.”
“Unless we’re doing it,” said Tina.
“Remember the doubled pay?” said Patricia. “Everyone in this building is here because they want to be. I just make sure they earn that pay.”
Daniel decided to leave it at that, for the time being. “How were you able to acquire this building so quickly?”
Patricia nodded approvingly, as though he’d finally asked a sensible question.
“Put up enough cash and you’d be surprised how fast a deal can go through. I wasn’t just Edward’s armorer, back in the day; I did all kinds of things for him that he couldn’t be bothered to do himself. Fortunately, he never did get around to changing the passwords on his accounts.”
“Have you transferred the old armory here yet?” said Tina.
“Not yet,” said Patricia. “A lot of what’s in there will have to be handled with extreme care, if we want most of this street to still be here in the near future. The armory is safe enough in the old building. Nothing can get out, and anyone who gets in deserves every truly appalling thing that will happen to them. And, of course, after what happened on the roof, everyone is giving the old building plenty of room anyway.”
“What’s the official line on that?” said Daniel.
“Terrorist attack,” said Patricia. “A very useful catch-all phrase. We don’t need to worry about the authorities, they have a long history of turning a blind eye where Jekyll & Hyde Inc. is concerned. I’ve no doubt polite queries are already being drafted, and by the time they arrive here I should have people in place to send back properly worded answers. You have to use the correct official phrases when you tell important people to go to hell, or they sulk.”
She looked steadily at Daniel and Tina. “Leave the everyday problems to me. You just concentrate on the alien bases. I’ve been receiving reports that suggest some of the aliens are actively preparing for invasion.”
Daniel nodded. “The Martians were getting pretty close.”
“Hold it,” said Tina, giving Patricia her best hard look. “Who is giving you these reports?”
“I have my own people, out in the field,” said Patricia.
And then she just stood there and stared at them, defying them to get anything else out of her.
“So,” said Tina. “Jekyll & Hyde Inc. is still a going concern?”
“As far as the world is concerned, we never went away,” said Patricia. “Our official motto is still Be afraid. Be very afraid. Now, Daniel, I have something for you.”
She produced a very official-looking envelope, and presented it formally to Daniel.
“This arrived, addressed to you, courtesy of a messenger from New Scotland Yard. A personal communication from Commissioner Jonathan Hart.”
“My old friend and ally,” said Daniel.
“Really?” said Tina.
“No,” said Daniel. “But he can have the job until I can find someone better. And he does know things.”
The envelope contained a single sheet of paper, on which was written Woolwich Docks. BEM.”
“That’s the location for the next alien base?” said Tina.
“The East London docks would make an excellent place to conceal a secret base,” said Daniel. “There’s always enough coming and going to disguise any secret business.”
“BEM,” said Tina, grinning broadly. “Bug-Eyed Monsters! Cool!”
Daniel nodded to Patricia. “Anything useful you can tell us, about these particular aliens?”
“Not really,” said the armorer. “There’s no shortage of information out there, but not a lot you can depend on. The general feeling is that the Bug-Eyed Monsters are a race of superintelligent insects from outside our solar system.”
“Any advice?” said Daniel.
“Get them before they get you.”
Daniel gave Patricia a hard look. “We could use some help, in your capacity as armorer.”
“Guns!” said Tina, bouncing happily on her feet. “Big shooty things, to really ruin a superintelligent insect’s day.”
“Because you only get one chance to make a real first impression,” said Daniel.
“I thought you might ask,” said Patricia, “so I looked this out for you.”
She snapped her fingers, and a young woman came hurrying forward. She deposited a briefcase at Patricia’s feet, like a priestess delivering an offering to her goddess, smiled bashfully at Daniel and Tina, and then hurried away. The armorer opened the briefcase, took out a small metal box, and presented it ceremoniously to Daniel. The box had no details and no controls, just a large red button on top.
“This is an explosive device,” said Patricia. “Of quite extraordinary malevolence.”
“It’s not very big,” said Tina.
“Size isn’t everything.”
Tina scowled at the armorer. “Why do you always hand everything to Daniel, and never to me?”
“Because he’s less likely to drop it,” said Patricia. “Or break it.”
Daniel offered Tina the box. “You can hold the nasty blowy-uppy thing, if you want.”
Tina didn’t actually back away, but looked like she wanted to. “I was just making a point.”
Patricia fixed her attention on Daniel. “Hit the button, and you’ve got a ten-minute delay before you’re off to the races. I recommend throwing it and then running like hell, because that bomb doesn’t mess about.”
“Best kind,” said Daniel.
He slipped the box into his jacket pocket, being careful not to let his fingers stray anywhere near the button. Patricia shook her head.
“You have to hit the button really hard to trigger it. It’s a standard safety feature.”
“Good to know,” said Daniel.
“Bombs are all very well,” said Tina, with the casual air of someone who’d blown up a great many things in her time. “I’m all for bringing a major explosion to the party—loud noises and mass destruction, what’s not to like? But we could still use some guns, this time. Heavy-duty big-bang things, with attitude. I felt a real need for something long range, when we were down in the Martian base. Daniel and I had to get seriously hands-on with the Martian, which didn’t turn out to be nearly as much fun as I’d hoped.”
“According to my predecessor’s records,” said Patricia, “you two don’t do subtle. And given that you’re going to be breaking into an alien base with no idea of what you’ll be walking into, I think it would be better if you took the time to think your way through whatever problems you encounter.”
“No guns?” said Tina.
“You’ll do better without them,” said Patricia.
Daniel gave her his best scowl. “You don’t get to make decisions like that.”
“As long as I’m in charge of the armory, I do.”
Tina smiled at Daniel. “Want me to punch her head through a wall?”
Daniel sighed. “Come away, Tina. She’s not worth it.”
Tina sniffed. “I could always make an exception, in her case.”
Even in the early hours of the morning, there was a lot of traffic moving in and out of Woolwich Dockyard, carrying all kinds of goods that might or might not have the proper documentation. Daniel and Tina strolled casually up to the main entrance, wearing their best Don’t mess with me, I have a perfect right to be here expressions. And while there were quite a few people hanging around the dock gates, discussing important matters in hushed voices, they all moved quickly to get out of the way when Tina looked at them.
Hundreds of huge steel shipping containers stood side by side in long rows, off-loaded from the nearby ships, waiting to be emptied out and put to use again. Large muscular men in heavy jackets and brightly colored hard hats swarmed around the containers like bees in a hive. There was a lot of noise, and even more bustle, and no one paid any attention at all to Daniel and Tina.
“Who do they think we are?” Tina said quietly.
“They don’t care,” said Daniel, “as long as we’re not the authorities. Which is why I parked the police car so far away. Smile at the nice dockworkers, Tina—that should really unnerve them.”
“You say the nicest things,” said Tina.
They strolled back and forth, covering each section of the docks in turn, checking out row after row of containers big enough to hold entire buildings, if they’d been laid on their side. The doors were usually left open, showing off goods and produce from every corner of the earth.
“What are we looking for?” said Tina.
“Anything that doesn’t belong,” said Daniel.
Tina glowered around her. “That covers a really wide area. Why couldn’t your friend have been more specific?”
“We were lucky to get this much out of him,” said Daniel.
“I thought you said he knew things?”
“He does. But Woolwich Docks is its own private world, and even the people who work here don’t know everything that goes on.”
They strolled up and down the narrow aisles between the containers, peering into open doors and studying everything with great interest. Some of the large gentlemen standing guard over certain containers tensed visibly when Daniel and Tina leaned in for a look, but as long as they just checked things out and moved on, the security guards wisely kept themselves to themselves.
Daniel and Tina finally stopped to consider a warehouse right next to the waters. It was the biggest warehouse in the whole area, long and broad with a high roof. It caught Daniel’s attention because he hadn’t seen anyone go in or come out, and the dockworkers seemed to be going out of their way to give it plenty of room. As he got closer, Daniel noticed that all the windows had been blacked out, and the only entrance was being guarded by half a dozen very well-armed men, in very familiar uniforms. Daniel eased Tina into the shadows between two hulking containers, so they could study the warehouse without being noticed.
“It’s those damned mercenaries again,” said Tina.
“Just like the guards at the Martian base,” said Daniel. “Maybe there’s one big company that specializes in providing security for aliens.”
“I am getting really tired of bumping into these guys,” said Tina. “We need to take them down hard. Send a message.”
“I think it’s time for another distraction,” said Daniel. “Something to draw the guards away from those doors.”
“I don’t see any trees,” said Tina.
“We can still bring the loud and dramatic,” said Daniel.
He indicated the container to their left, whose open doors showed it had been emptied out. Tina nodded happily. The Hydes pressed their shoulders against the corrugated metal, braced themselves, and started the container rocking slowly from side to side. They worked at it, building the momentum, until finally the container passed the point of no return and slammed over onto its side. The deafening crash reverberated all across the docks.
Daniel and Tina retreated farther back into the shadows, and watched happily as dockworkers came running from every direction. Everyone wanted to see what had happened—except the guards at the warehouse doors. They kept a watchful eye on the proceedings, but didn’t budge an inch.
“Oh, that is so not fair,” said Tina. “How can they not react to something like that? What’s wrong with them?”
“They’ve probably been given specific orders, after what happened at the Martian base,” said Daniel.
The dockers crowded around the overturned container, chatting cheerfully about what might have caused it. They didn’t really give a damn; it was just a legitimate excuse to take a break. A few bosses wandered over to call them back to work, only to get caught up in the discussion, which blamed everything from earthquakes to metal fatigue, and finally divine intervention. After a while the bosses decided they really didn’t care either, and browbeat everyone into going back to work. Daniel and Tina took advantage of the commotion to move silently forward again, until they were as close to the warehouse as they were going to get without being noticed.
Tina glowered at the guards. “Now what? It’s just like Horse Leigh Common—lots of open space between us and them, and no cover.”
“I doubt that’s a coincidence,” said Daniel.
“We should have insisted Patricia issue us some guns,” said Tina.
“No,” said Daniel. “If we opened fire on the guards, it would tell everyone we were here. Including the aliens.”
“Then what are we supposed to do?” said Tina. “Throw things?”
Daniel smiled suddenly. “You have the best ideas.”
He produced a handful of small change from his pockets, and shared some with Tina. She looked at the coins, and then at Daniel.
“What am I supposed to do with these? Bribe the guards?”
“Think how fast and hard coins could travel, when backed by Hyde muscle,” said Daniel. “How’s your aim?”
Tina grinned suddenly. “If I can see it, I can hit it.”
“Go for the eyes,” said Daniel.
They took up positions right at the edge of the shadows, and took careful aim. Daniel’s first coin flashed through the air, drilled through a guard’s eye, and punched out the back of his skull. He was still crumpling to the ground when Tina’s coin struck home, taking out the guard next to him. The others barely had time to react before a flurry of coins slammed through their heads—and just like that there was no one left to guard the warehouse door.
Daniel and Tina raced across the open ground, and crouched down before the door. They performed a quick check on the motionless guards, to make sure all of them were dead, and then Tina did a quick search of the ground.
“What are you doing?” said Daniel.
“Gathering up the coins,” said Tina.
“Leave them,” said Daniel, with great patience.
“You might be grateful for it one day,” said Tina.
They dragged the dead bodies away from the warehouse, and disposed of them silently in the dark waters. Daniel looked quickly around, but the general noise and bustle of the docks had kept anyone from noticing. He moved back to the warehouse door, and examined the lock. It wasn’t any make he was familiar with, so he just drew back his fist and punched the lock through the door and out the other side. It made a dull thud as it landed on the inside floor, and he froze . . . but there was no reaction. He pushed the door open, stepped quietly inside with Tina right beside him, and then pulled it shut.
X X X
A sudden and dramatic drop in temperature stopped the Hydes dead in their tracks, and left them shaking and shuddering. Tina huddled up against Daniel, and they leaned together for a moment, sharing their warmth. Their breath steamed thickly on the air.
“Okay . . .” said Tina. “This is seriously cold. Even worse than the Martian slaughterhouse.”
“Cold enough to stop anyone who wasn’t a Hyde,” said Daniel.
“I swear there are icicles hanging off my tits,” said Tina.
“I’ve definitely got icicles hanging off something,” said Daniel.
The warehouse stretched away before them, packed full of things that made no sense at all to human eyes. They might have been machines, or living things, or something for which Earth had no equivalent. The centerpiece appeared to be a single massive honeycomb structure, composed of pulsing yellow flesh. Strange dark shapes peered out from the hexagonal cells. Weird latticeworks of metal rods covered all of one wall, arranged in patterns incomprehensible to the human mind. Cobwebs hung down in long gray streamers that twitched constantly even though there wasn’t even a hint of a breeze. The light was painfully harsh, even to Hyde eyes, but Daniel was already adjusting.
A thought struck him, and he bounced up and down on his feet. “You know, I’d swear the gravity in here is less than it should be.”
“Wonderful,” said Tina. “More complications. You think it’s another attempt at terraforming?”
“Another home away from home, for aliens,” said Daniel.
And then they both stopped talking, to give their full attention to what they’d come there for. The warehouse interior was overrun with giant insects. Nine to ten feet long, with dark gleaming carapaces, horned heads, and bristling antennae. Bulging compound eyes glowed with phosphorescent fire, giving the creatures their name: Bug-Eyed Monsters. Constantly twitching mouth parts nestled inside heavy mandibles that slammed together like living mantraps. The huge thoraxes had far too many legs, with too many joints, ending in claws so sharp they scratched the warehouse floor with every step.
The giant insects scuttled lightly back and forth, the spindly legs tap-tapping in intricate rhythms. Some skittered up the walls and ran along the ceiling. They moved in sudden darts and pounces, pausing here and there to manipulate pieces of alien machinery, most of which appeared to have disturbingly organic components. Daniel had to struggle to follow the insects as they shot back and forth, moving far too quickly for anything that size.
“Actual Bug-Eyed Monsters,” Daniel said quietly. “Proper aliens.”
“Ugly bastards,” said Tina. “At least they don’t seem to be paying us any attention.”
“Just the sight of them is really freaking me out,” said Daniel. “Insects shouldn’t be that big. It’s just wrong. They’re more horrible than any of the monsters we fought, because even vampires and werewolves had a human element we could relate to.”
“It’s not just the size that makes them dangerous,” said Tina. “Insects have no emotions, and no restraint. They do appalling things because they can, following biological imperatives designed to keep them alive at the expense of everything else. Like laying their eggs inside other creatures, so the larvae can eat their way out. William Burroughs said it’s only the mercy of scale that saves us from the tyranny of the insect nation.”
“You’ve been watching those nature documentaries again,” said Daniel. “Even though you know they give you nightmares.”
“Know your enemy,” said Tina.
Daniel slipped a hand into his pocket, so he could check the bomb was still there.
“I say hit the button, throw the bomb, and get the hell out of here.”
“That might not be enough,” Tina said carefully. “Look at the size of this warehouse. We need to find just the right place to set the bomb, to make sure it does maximum damage.”
Daniel tried a small smile, but couldn’t bring it off. “How freaked out am I, that you have to be the practical one?”
Tina spoke slowly and carefully, in an I’m going to be calm and collected about this because one of us has to be and it clearly isn’t going to be you sort of voice. “We can’t let any of these things survive. But we have to make sure we don’t miss anything important. We understood what the Martian was up to, but I haven’t a clue what the Bug-Eyed Monsters are doing here.”
“Practical and sensible,” said Daniel. “What is the world coming to? All right, let’s take a look around, figure out what we can, find the best place to plant the bomb . . . and then get the hell out of here. But I’m warning you: if just one of those insects touches me, I think I’m going to scream.”
“Could be worse,” said Tina. “There could be spiders.”
Daniel glared at her. “You just had to go there, didn’t you?”
“Concentrate on how we are eventually going to blow all of this to shit,” Tina said comfortingly. “You know that’ll make you feel better.”
Daniel nodded stiffly, and made himself move forward. Tina stuck more than usually close beside him. Daniel didn’t look at her, in case she was smiling. Being a big bad Hyde was usually enough to cope with most situations, but everyone has their pressure points. And ten-foot insects were really hitting his buttons. He found the going hard at first, because the lesser gravity made him want to hop and jump rather than walk, but he quickly adapted. It made him wonder whether he and Tina had ever really investigated what the Hyde package could do. When this was all over, they owed it to themselves to discover what those limits might be. It could save their lives one day. He knew he was only thinking about that because it was better than being freaked out by the Bug-Eyed Monsters, but he still thought it was an important point.
He glanced at Tina. For all her confidence she looked as jumpy as he felt, but it didn’t seem to be bothering her as much. She seemed genuinely fascinated by the alien world they were moving through. Daniel let her concentrate on the weird stuff, while he kept a watchful eye on the Bug-Eyed Monsters, who seemed so intent on their own unfathomable business they hadn’t even realized they had trespassers in their territory. Either they relied on the guards to keep people out, or they just couldn’t conceive that anyone could break in.
Tina stopped, and gestured urgently to Daniel. He joined her before a particularly odd piece of alien technology. A jagged collection of metal shapes and shimmering crystals, the towering structure rose all the way up to the roof, held together by weird arrangements of yellowed bones and stringy tendons. They didn’t look like anything you’d expect to find inside a giant insect, and Daniel quickly realized he was looking at human bones and tissues.
And then he made a small shocked noise, as a row of implanted human eyes turned to follow him. Tina put a hand on his arm to get his attention, and pointed at a human heart, pumping fast as a hummingbird as it forced some strange shimmering liquid through lengths of crystal tubing. Tina didn’t look fascinated anymore. She looked angry.
“Every machine I’ve seen has human components,” she said quietly.
“The insects must have been abducting people, so they could harvest the bits they needed,” said Daniel. “Taking them apart, to build their machines.”
“I told you we needed to know what they were doing,” said Tina.
“The aliens couldn’t have gone out and snatched these people themselves,” said Daniel. “They must have used human agents.”
“The mercenaries,” said Tina. “But why would they agree to be a part of something like this?”
“As an ex-cop, I can tell you some people will do anything for money,” said Daniel.
“Then they’re bigger monsters than the aliens,” said Tina.
Daniel nodded grimly. “We have to destroy everything in this place.” He looked quickly around, and then gestured at a closed-off section of the warehouse, half hidden behind thick curtains of grey cobwebs. “What could be so bad that the insects felt they had to hide it?”
“You want to go in there and find out?” said Tina.
“I don’t think want is quite the word I had in mind,” said Daniel, “but we need to know.”
“Then we’re going to need another distraction,” said Tina.
She looked at him expectantly, because plans were his area of expertise. Daniel thought quickly.
“If the alien technology is based on alien principles,” he said finally, “maybe introducing a human element will disrupt things.”
“Sounds logical,” said Tina. “What did you have in mind?”
Daniel smiled briefly. “Sometimes, you just have to take the piss.”
He moved over to stand before the giant honeycomb, unzipped his fly, and pissed all over the fleshy yellow cells. His urine steamed on the chill air, and then more steam rose up in billowing clouds as the urine ate into the yellow cells like acid. Daniel zipped up and moved quickly back to rejoin Tina, who had both hands pressed hard over her mouth to hold in her laughter.
Bug-Eyed Monsters came skittering forward from all directions as they realized something was wrong with their honeycomb, and while they were preoccupied, Daniel and Tina forced their way through the cobweb curtains protecting the sealed-off area. The room beyond was full of low slabs, covered in disassembled human bodies. These people hadn’t just been dissected, they’d been reduced to their component parts. The tables were splashed with dried blood, and more had run down to stain the floor. Daniel shuddered as he remembered the Frankenstein cellar, but wouldn’t let the flashback paralyze him. He had to remain in control, because there was work that needed doing.
Tina didn’t say anything, but she leaned in close so she could press her shoulder against Daniel’s. He barely noticed. He was too angry.
All kinds of organs, separated according to function, had been neatly set out, just waiting to be plugged into whatever alien mechanism needed them. Human bones had been assembled into shapes and structures that made no sense. Rows of faces had been pinned to the far wall. Their eyes moved to follow Daniel and Tina.
All through the room there was a horrible sense of things kept alive, long after they should have been dead.
“This is worse than the Martian slaughterhouse,” Daniel said finally. “At least their suffering ended after they were killed.”
“You think those faces are still aware?” said Tina.
“I’m not taking any chances,” said Daniel, as much to the faces as to her. “It’s not about sending a message anymore. It’s about payback.”
“It’s bomb time,” said Tina. “Because this is what the Bug-Eyed Monsters would do to all of us, once they invade.”
The Hydes turned their backs on the wall of staring faces, and left the room.
Outside the cobweb curtains, the way was blocked by rank upon rank of Bug-Eyed Monsters, standing poised and waiting. Here and there heavy mandibles snapped together with enough force to take off an arm or a leg, but otherwise the insects held themselves unnaturally still, their protruding glowing eyes fixed on the Hydes.
“Okay . . .” said Tina. “What do we do now?”
“I suppose we could jump up and run across their backs,” said Daniel. “But I don’t think we’d get very far.”
“You should have let me take the guards’ guns,” said Tina.
“Next time, I’ll listen to you.”
Tina shot him a smile. “It’s sweet that you think there’ll be a next time. We are seriously outnumbered here.”
“But they’re just insects,” said Daniel. “We’re Hydes.”
“I’m glad you’re over your little panic attack,” said Tina.
Daniel scowled. “I’m just too furious to be freaked out.”
“Go with what works,” said Tina. “Tell me you have a plan, Daniel.”
“We need another distraction,” said Daniel.
“You’re not going to whip your dick out again, are you?” said Tina.
“I thought I’d trigger the bomb, and throw it into the honeycomb,” said Daniel. “And when some of the insects go to investigate, we plow through the ones that are left and then exit the premises before the really nasty explosive device turns this warehouse and everything in it into a pile of ashes.”
“Not the best plan you’ve come up with,” said Tina. “But for want of anything better, let’s do it.”
Daniel started to put his hand in his pocket, and all the insects surged forward. They crossed the ground inhumanly quickly, propelled by their many-jointed legs, while their bulging compound eyes burned with cold malevolence. Daniel thought briefly about retreating into the sealed-off area, in the hope the insects wouldn’t want to fight in their own supply room . . . but he was too angry to back away. All he could think of was how badly he needed to punish the Bug-Eyed Monsters for what they’d done.
“You should never have come here,” he said, and went to meet them with Tina at his side.
The lesser gravity made the huge insects so light they jumped onto the Hydes and swarmed all over them. Daniel and Tina struck and elbowed them away, and trampled them underfoot when they fell. The Bug-Eyed Monsters tried to drag the Hydes down by brute force, and clutched at them with their many-jointed legs. Heavy claws tore through clothes to savage the flesh beneath, while the legs’ serrated edges cut into the Hydes like the teeth on a buzzsaw. Horned heads thrust forward like battering rams, their razor-sharp mandibles lunging in to tear off Daniel’s and Tina’s faces. The Hydes stood their ground and lashed out at everything that came within reach, refusing to be brought down.
Daniel plunged his fists deep into brittle insect thoraxes, grabbed pulsing alien organs, and ripped them out through the hole he’d made, in flurries of sickly green blood. He punched in devil-mask faces, and slammed huge alien forms into the floor. Insect after insect died at his hand, only to be immediately replaced by more.
Tina ripped the heads off Bug-Eyed Monsters and threw them at approaching insect faces, laughing out loud when the bulging eyes exploded. Sometimes the headless bodies would just keep pressing forward, serrated legs still reaching out to enfold her. She just snapped off the legs until the insect body collapsed or fell over, and moved on to the next target. She barreled past insects with great sweeps of her arms, and thrust her fists into glowing compound eyes, forcing her hands in deep to crush the brains.
The vicious struggle took on an awful nightmarish quality, and Daniel couldn’t see an end to it. Bug-Eyed Monsters kept rearing up before him—devil masks with unfeeling eyes, and claws that came at him too quickly to avoid, not slowed for a moment by all the terrible things the Hydes had done to other insects. They just kept swarming forward, driven on by the implacable need to protect their territory at all costs. Daniel ached all over, as much from fatigue as all the damage he’d taken. It had been a terribly long day, and it seemed the armorer’s pick-me-up could only do so much. But still he fought on, even as the floor beneath his feet became slippery from all the blood he’d lost. All he had to do was remember a row of faces pinned to a wall, and it seemed like he would never grow tired of killing.
Daniel and Tina ended up fighting back to back, as the Bug-Eyed Monsters came at them from all sides. The huge insects swarmed all over them, pressed so thickly together now that Daniel couldn’t even see the warehouse anymore. He grabbed up an insect body with its legs still kicking, and used it to bludgeon other insects. He flailed wildly around him, sending body parts flying, and hammered the deteriorating body into one insect after another until the battered thorax finally came apart in his hands.
Tina punched in devil face after devil face, puncturing bulging eyes and crushing skulls, not laughing anymore because she didn’t have the breath. Heavy claws and serrated legs had ripped half her dress off and blood ran steadily down her heaving sides. Every punch hurt her hands, but she wouldn’t let that stop her. She tore off a spiked leg and thrust it deep into a glowing eye. Thick green blood spattered all over her, and she wore it like a badge of honor.
The Hydes had one advantage: there were so many Bug-Eyed Monsters they kept getting in each other’s way.
The aliens came at Daniel again and again, cutting him with their saw-toothed legs, and thrusting their clacking mandibles forward to tear off his face. Blood was already dripping down his chin and onto his chest from too many near misses. He was so tired his muscles screamed with every effort, and fresh pains struck through him as he reopened old wounds. He could feel blood running down his sides, and the last of his strength going out of him. He had to struggle not to cry out every time the insects hurt him, but somehow he held it back. He didn’t want Tina to know how badly injured he was. It didn’t even occur to him that she might be doing the same. He could feel her back slamming against his as they fought, hear her grunts of exertion and the occasional obscenity, so he just assumed she was busy being Tina and making her enemies fear her.
Daniel fought on, with increasingly leaden arms and too many wounds to count. His legs trembled from the strain, but he had enough hate left in him to kick in an insect’s thorax if it got too close. He punched and back-elbowed and headbutted the Bug-Eyed Monsters as they came within reach, and never tired of smashing his aching fists into their horrid faces. Fighting not for himself, but for all the victims who could no longer fight. Blood covered one side of his face from where a flailing mandible had opened up a deep gash on his forehead, and he had to keep blinking blood out of his eye.
The giant insects ran up the walls and onto the ceiling, so they could drop down from above. Daniel and Tina took it in turns to slap them out of midair. More and more the Hydes were reduced to fighting like machines, little more than brute strength and instinct with no sense of strategy.
Daniel could tell he was slowing down, because the snapping mandibles were getting closer to his face. He flailed around him with a torn-off insect head to open up some space, and pulled the bomb out of his pocket. He knew he’d never get to the door in time, but he was past caring. All that mattered was revenge, for the insects’ victims. But even as he reached for the big red button a horned head surged forward and its razor-sharp mandibles clamped down viciously on his forearm. Daniel’s hand spasmed and flew open, dropping the bomb. It hit the floor, and Daniel’s heart ached as an insect stamped on the metal case until it broke apart. He punched the insect holding him until its skull shattered, and jerked the mandibles out of his arm. His blood flew on the air as he kicked the flailing body away from him. He looked at where the bomb had been, and wondered what to do next.
“I saw that!” Tina said behind him. Her voice sounded raw and hoarse. “Now what?”
“Stay alive long enough to think of something else,” said Daniel.
He could still put on a good face for her, even if he couldn’t believe it himself. He wondered vaguely how many more Bug-Eyed Monsters were left in the warehouse—and how many he could get his hands on before they dragged him down. And then he noticed that his punches seemed to be landing harder, and doing more damage, while the insects grew increasingly slower and more sluggish. It took him a while to realize that the gravity in the warehouse was getting heavier, returning to Earth normal, as though whatever alien machine had interfered with the force of gravity was failing.
Daniel struggled to make sense of the weary thoughts lurching through his head. He remembered alien machines with human parts. Eyes that moved to follow him. That meant something. He remembered finding an unexpected ally among the living machines in the Martian base, and wondered if something in this base that had once been human had seen him fighting the Bug-Eyed Monsters, and was trying to help. He spat out a mouthful of blood and raised his voice.
“If you can hear me, tell me what to do!”
A small but very human voice whispered in his ear. “I was made a machine, to control their gravity, but I still remember who I was.”
“Which machine?” said Daniel, staring blearily around him. “Where are you?”
A light started blinking on a many-sided machine clinging to the side of the great honeycomb.
“Finish me,” said the voice, “and you finish the monsters.”
Daniel turned his head. “Tina! We are breaking out—right now! Follow me! I’ve got a plan!”
“Well, it’s about time!” said Tina.
Daniel plunged forward, plowing through the insects, drawing on the last of his resources to keep him moving. The Bug-Eyed Monsters scattered as Daniel headed for the machine. He didn’t need to look round to know Tina was right there beside him; he could hear her cursing with every step. He kicked his way through piled-up insect bodies scattered across the floor. He only wished there were more of them.
His legs trembled with every step, but he wouldn’t let them betray him. Faces on a wall were depending on him. He hurt everywhere, blood spilling from too many wounds to count, but he wouldn’t give in to them. He glanced once at Tina, and his heart ached as he realized she was as badly hurt as he was. He gestured at the machine, and Tina nodded grimly. She lurched to a halt, and turned around to face the Bug-Eyed Monsters coming after them.
“Do it, Daniel. Do whatever you have to. I’ve got your back.”
“Do it,” said the small voice in his ear. “Set me free.”
Daniel didn’t hesitate, just lurched forward and smashed his fist into the heart of the machine, driving his arm in deep even as jagged broken metal tore at his flesh; and then the machine fell apart. And just like that, Earth gravity was back. Daniel jerked his arm out of the wreckage and turned to see giant insects scrabbling helplessly on the floor, unable to raise themselves. A great cry went up from the Bug-Eyed Monsters—the first noise Daniel had heard from them. It sounded like despair, and that warmed his heart.
He grabbed Tina by the arm and steered her toward the exit. Leaning heavily on each other, staggering along, they kicked their way through struggling insect bodies until they reached the door. Daniel glanced back, to see a whirlpool of strange energies forming around the machine he’d smashed. He’d let something loose: a cold, implacable pull that was already dragging the nearest Bug-Eyed Monsters toward it. One by one they slid across the floor and disappeared into the sucking pit. A quiet but still very human voice spoke in Daniel’s ear, saying “Thank you.” It faded away before Daniel could say anything in return.
He turned back to the warehouse door. Tina was leaning heavily against it, her face a mess of blood and bruises just like his. Together they hauled the door open, and staggered out into the night.
X X X
For a while, all Daniel could think of was getting Tina away from the warehouse. He helped her along, step by step and foot by foot, his head full of pain. People ran toward them, pointing and shouting. Daniel looked behind him one last time, and saw the warehouse disappear. It simply blinked out and was gone, with nothing left to show it had ever been there. The dockworkers cried out in shock, and skidded to a halt. Tina raised her battered head and looked blearily at Daniel.
“What the hell just happened?”
“A machine that remembered it was human turned itself into a black hole to destroy the alien base,” said Daniel.
Tina considered the matter carefully, her face slack with pain and exhaustion.
“That makes no sense at all.”
Daniel managed a small smile. “Bug-Eyed Monster science.”
“Let’s get out of here,” said Tina. “I need to lie down for a while.”
“We’re done here,” said Daniel. “We sent a message.”
“Bloody loud one too,” said Tina.
Crowds of dockworkers stared at where the warehouse had been and babbled questions at each other. They looked at the two Hydes, took in the state of them, and wisely decided not to bother them. Daniel and Tina trudged slowly out of the Woolwich Docks, leaving a bloody trail behind them.
“Can we go home now?” Tina said drowsily into Daniel’s shoulder.
“Sure,” said Daniel. “Maybe the armorer will have some more of that Feel Better Real Fast stuff.”
“Next mission,” Tina said determinedly, “make her give us guns. Really big guns.”
“Damn right,” said Daniel.