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Memories: The Decision


“Let’s back away from the freaky astronomy discussions and get back to practical stuff. We can sit here taking observations of that thing until my air runs out and we may never get the full picture. We need to send a probe.”

“I agree, but we are all out of probes.”

“I noticed that too. Outfitting the MSEV would’ve been my first thought, but its tanks are almost dry. There’s enough left to send it down the hole and that’s about it.”

“The MSEV also does not carry an adequate sensor suite to be worthwhile. It would be of limited use, other than to confirm that the wormhole is traversable.”

“If we ever heard from it again. We don’t know how much distance it would have to cover. Its batteries might drain before it reached the other side.”

“A likely outcome, given the many unknowns. Velocity will be of the essence, which also argues against the MSEV.”

Velocity change was something their ship still had in spades. “So let’s deal with the ‘knowns,’” Jack said. “Magellan has sensors out the wazoo: external video, spectrometers, star trackers, IR and UV imagers—”

“Perhaps most importantly, a cesium chronometer,” Daisy interjected. “If this phenomenon is a localized contraction of space, then it is also a contraction of time. We have previously observed frame-dragging effects around its perimeter. If we were to attempt transit, our local perception of time would be altered compared to Earth’s.”

“Good point.” He paused. Either Daisy had figured out what he was thinking, or she had arrived at the same conclusions herself. Was she following his lead, or pursuing her own curiosity? Maybe it was a little of both. “Great minds think alike, don’t they?”

“I told you not to belittle yourself. But we still have much to consider.”

“Reaction mass,” he said. “The hydrogen tanks are at eighteen percent, accounting for boiloff. We keep half our reaction mass in reserve for deceleration. That gives us a delta-v budget of forty-five thousand meters per second.” Enough to get them back home, although over a time span he couldn’t survive. He’d come out here knowing it could be a one-way trip, and considering the possibility of running hard in the other direction did not make it any easier to accept now that the decision was at hand.

“You wish to return to Earth.”

Despite the depth of their interface through the neurolink implants, Daisy couldn’t actually read his mind. She had simply developed an understanding of human nature. Did she understand the concept of confronting one’s mortality?

“I do,” he finally said. “It’s tempting to burn for home, and I’ve been putting it out of my mind because it’s a fool’s errand. My life support would run out long before we got there.”

“I have been considering this dilemma and investigating longer-term solutions. They are quite limited.”

“I saw that you accessed a ton of medical papers on torpor. I figured it was your way of suggesting you were going to put me in a nursing home.” Earth was simply too far to realistically consider, while the Anomaly—a gateway to a whole other star system, or perhaps something else—was right there in front of them. A few minutes’ kick from the fusion drive would take them somewhere no human had ever been. It might just make this whole insane adventure worth his life.

And that was what it came down to: making the trip worth the price of the ticket. They could burn every last gram of hydrogen in a desperate run for Earth, but he would just be delivering his own corpse in another decade or so.

He’d never thought of himself as one of the Great Explorers, like their ship’s namesake. He’d started as just the flight engineer for a challenging mission. How many of those men of old had set out on their journeys with the realization they might never come back? That was how they’d explored the far seas, crossed the poles, began colonizing Mars . . . every last one of them knew when they walked out their front doors that it might be the last time they saw home. No doubt some had fully expected it. Thus were new frontiers conquered.

Outside, a gaping hole in the universe beckoned. Long imagined by people much smarter than himself, here he was looking at one. Among a long list of wonders he never expected to see, this would’ve been at the top had he thought it was possible.

There were so many questions: Where did it lead? How had it come to be—was it naturally occurring, or did some unknowable superintelligence craft it from the beginning of everything? That was the kind of question he’d have debated for hours with Traci over her chessboard.

He missed those talks. He wondered if she did, too. “I miss her,” he thought aloud.

“I miss her as well.”

And he believed she truly did.

“Curiouser and curiouser,” Jack finally said, reaching his decision. They didn’t come all this way just to take pictures. “Oh what the hell, we’ve come this far. Let’s go see what’s down the rabbit hole.”


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